Call-Centre Secrets You Don't Want To Know!

Prepare to be shocked – or to laugh!

Did you know that working in a call center, anywhere in the world, is often the worst place on Earth! That’s because of the way some customers feel they can talk to you – and you can’t retaliate!!!! My college degree is gathering dust because this is the only job I can get right now.

However, I’ve been subjected to shouting, foul language, aspersions on my humanity, my race, my age, my parents and my accent – and that’s all before I’ve even said ‘Hello’ or they have even told me why they’re calling!

Here’s my view. I often mute people while they talk so I can either swear at them or eat snacks. I’ve gotten so good at speaking with confidence that I don’t know if any of the information I’m telling you is really true! And the more upset you get, and the louder your shouting gets, the funnier it is to me! I just love it when you ask for a manager because then I don’t have to talk to you anymore. Often I can’t find the information you’re asking about anyway because I’m too busy looking for other jobs on my computer. I also take several bathroom breaks, just so I can get a few moments of peace.

I also love it when you insult me over something that’s clearly your fault because when you realize it, it’s a moment of sheer bliss and the satisfaction I feel from your apology (that’s IF you apologise) is the best thing ever!

Sometimes calls come in too quickly and I have to put you on hold so I can finish telling my friend a story I started.
I also wish the quality assurance team didn’t listen in to the calls so much, just so that I could retaliate and tell you how I really feel.

There’s a reason I work in a call center. It’s because you don’t wanna see the expression on my face when I’m on the phone with you. If I can help it, I don’t give you my real name so that if I accidentally-on-purpose cut you off, it’s funny to hear you’ve called back, angrily asking for say ‘Jonah’ when there’s no one of that name working here! Also, I never use my real voice and I make myself sound much more pleasant that I really am. I hate outbound calls as they give me so much anxiety that I truly hope it always goes to voicemail.

So saying, the nicer you are, the more likely I’ll try to help you. But - if you’re a dick, I’m gonna try and get you off the phone as quickly as possible so I can stalk you on Facebook and make fun of you with my co-workers. If you’re one of the worst people in the world, I want to take your email address and sign you up for weird email lists. Like for foot fetishes. Or funerals. Or for erectile dysfunction.....or worse!

Thank you for your call!