Awww @kismet2018, this is what you were referring to when we spoke before. I am unbelievably saddened by your story, but selfishly heartened by your recovery. Although, you never get over it, I think you just learn how to deal with it, because really, what choice do we have.
Now I truly understand your understanding of my story, and I am forever grateful for you sharing the idea of sustainability in memories, photos, letters, poems, and those precious memories that remain in our mind's eye.
she will always know and remember that she was once very deeply and profoundly loved
made me cry. I hope beyond hope, that you will feel that again; and I know all too well how impossible that seems, because it won't be the same, but I have to believe that when the time is right, and with an open heart, we can receive and give love differently again.
Big internet hugs coming your way tonight !
Now I am leaky too! I can't say I KNOW how you are feeling, dear @lynncoyle1! That would be baseless and presumptuous! But I DO know
very intimately, deep and profound "LOSS"!
Get this ... since I was a little girl, I always wanted to be 50 years old, because my Grandma was in her 50s at the time. (I posted about her, with Paula @beeyou's encouragement.)
So I lived life, avoiding birthdays but looking forward to my 50th. In that year many bad things happened, with Jo's sudden death topping it all off!
It was the lowest point in my life!
However, what has become of me since then to now has been the absolute best years of my life!! It's been an incredible journey of pain, discovery, fears-facing, self-facing!
My feelings about him, then, us, are warm, satisfying, intensely personal, ours ... I am peaceful and deeply grateful that we had the time we did have!
The pain is long gone because I practised from the get-go, replacing thoughts of pain with thoughts of pleasure, happiness, humor! We had a gazillion! It wasn't always easy! But I noticed it was most difficult to do when I needed to do it most urgently! Bombarding my mind with snapshots from the "Memory Bank" he and I deliberately created, kept me going.
Without realizing it, my mind got practise in being grateful for the short time we had together and the pain started to lose its sting! So it might sound cliche, but it really worked and continues to work for me - Stay in the Attitude of Gratitude and we end up suffering less! Simple but not easy!
I don't believe Time heals all wounds. Time can make wounds worse. What matters is what we are telling ourselves and feeding our minds and souls during this time.
I have no wisdom but I can share my experience, strength (which I discovered or developed) and hope with you that somehow, you will be ok! The future is not ours! Now is all we will ever have! Gobble up every single second you can get with your precious and beloved @briancourteau! Both of you have been in my heart and prayers since you told me your story! Thank you, dear Girl for taking the time to read and respond to this little piece of poignant history!
You're so sweet! And I agree with everything you are saying! I'm also so happy that you have come to this place in your life; the human spirit is truly an amazing thing:)
Tightest and warmest to you and yours, dear Girl!!!!