You find yourself sitting on the bus that is heading towards the rehabilitation center. It seems to you that you have made a mistake: it is very cold and you have not brought any coat with you. You realize that your hands are so cold that you can not get your mobile right, so you prefer to focus your attention on the papers you keep in the folder; Try and select the ones you could use. You choose the interview model that you previously elaborated for the occasion and you reread your questions imagining the possible answers that you could receive.

-Name and surname?

-Ramón Rosales.

-Age?

-49 years.

-Level of studies?

-Complete baccalaureate.

-Brothers?

-Two, I'm the middle one.

-Who did you grow up with?

-Alone.

---

Notes the change of position, the crossing of his arms in front of the chest, the deviation of the look and the frown. You do not need experience to intuit that your patient can lose all interest in the interview and leave it at the beginning. You venture to make him feel comfortable with your presence and give him a look of encouragement, more full of sincerity than rapport technique.

-Good, I understand. Tell me about how you came to this rehabilitation center.
Then he tells you that he was in a street situation, that he had bottomed a second time with the difference that now he was worse than before. He tells you that he felt more in hell than on earth and you notice him a lost look, as if he were visualizing himself in the distance of his past. He tells you about the fury he felt when he saw himself talking and he gave you details about those moments when, with his closed fists, he hit walls in an unbridled attempt to appease the desire to consume. He tells you that he decided to go with those Christian missionaries who roamed the streets offering a stay in a certain rehabilitation center for drug addicts. In the end, more like a thought out loud than a confession, he admits to himself that finding help is always easy ... receiving it is the real challenge.

You listen to that last sentence as if it were taken from a cloudy poem and you can not help sighing. You thank that the patient Ramón Rosales turned out to be not only so talkative but so well spoken and just out of curiosity, you ask him if he likes to read and he replies that since he entered the prison he developed the habit of reading and now that he was He had been retaken in the center.

After asking him about the reason for his entry into prison, he tells you that it was some time ago, when at 22 years of age the hatred he had harvested towards his brother led him to stab him repeatedly because he found him sitting in the house. his mother, who would take him to the police and imprison him for 6 years. You notice that it is time to ask again about his upbringing and this time you receive the answer that would make him sob like a helpless child. You remain silent and keeping your eyes you offer a napkin box.

-During years ... once after another, he sexually abused me. I would be about 6 years old and he, my own brother with 14 years old, made me do horrible things. It was not enough for him to rape me, but on one occasion he even invited one of his friends. How not to hate him? "He asked between tears." When I got out of prison he had already left for Spain with my father.

You know that if you continue to ask you will find many more tragedies, such as notes that have already calmed decide to continue with the interview asking what happened after his release from prison and he tells you that there he met God, was baptized and for five years He was drug-free. He tells you above that he married Maria, mother of a girl who was not his but who helped raise. Here notes that he begins to get nervous, that his hands tremble and his forehead is the sea of ​​sweat.

-It was there when he relapsed in the use of drugs?

-Yes, and I became a madman. I was the father of that girl for several years until I took her at the age of 13. I did exactly what my brother did to me. To avoid repentance and that constant remorse of conscience I passed it doped and one fine day, Maria threw me out of the house.

-Was there any complaint?

-Any.

-I get it. I will tell you a series of drugs, please tell me which ones you used and at what age.

-Sure, let's see.

-Marihuana?

-Yes, it was the first of all. I would be about 9 years old, I was given some boys bigger than me in the neighborhood basketball court.

-Ecstasy?

-Yes, a lot of times. I think I tried it for the first time at about 14.

-Cocaine?

-Yes, like at 17.

-Heroin?

-I do not know, I do not remember when I started with her ... Practically from always.

-Crack?

-Yes, the worst of all. I would start using it around 40. I kept away from her because they said it was extremely harmful. I also tried something called crystal.

-Could you tell me who Ramón Rosales is? What do you feel, what did you do and what will you do?

-Ramón Rosales ... A very sociable guy, who has no problems with anyone. If there was a time -as I told you- that I became aggressive but that was not me, those were the drugs. The worst thing that could happen was to try the crack, it was given to me by a girl who was my partner, she was barely 13 years old and she insisted that we try it together.

-Did you tell me how old you were when you tried crack?

-40, but she was a lost girl, she was my partner for several months. I think he was with me to take care of her. There are a lot of bad people on the street. But when I started with the crack, as well as her, I did not want another drug, we spent doped, dirty, marginalized ... At some point of lucidity I saw my reflection in one of the showcases of Caracas stores. I was surprised to see that I was missing almost all of my teeth. Yes I had noticed that sometimes I dropped one or another tooth or that others were wearing me down but until then I had not realized how big my deterioration was. That day I asked her to leave the crack, to continue with anyone but her, but she became aggressive. I do not know what happened to her ... after her emphatic position I made my way and continued alone, but even having left her I could not leave.

-Mr. Rosales, now that he's 3 years old sober Is there something he feels a deep regret?

-Of course, I'm sorry to have taken my younger brother out of the house. The drugs that I tried tested them with me. Today I feel good, the greatest I know is in Spain, but I have not known my younger brother's whereabouts for a long time.

And you stay there, in front of your patient. Thinking about the many stories that the same person has. Wondering what could be the reasons that would lead you to do what you would hate others to do and above all, knowing that each
action hides a why.