PSA - It's Not Fair!
On today's agenda, I am going to rant about the word "Fair" as well of the concept of "Fair".
It's because I heard that word a lot in the last two weeks and I don't like it at all.
I get really triggered by the word fair. Some days I would like to ban it. In fact, I have an automatic reaction to "It's not fair". My pulse speeds up a little, my eyes roll, and my teeth clench.
Nothing is fair. Nothing is ever going to be fair and I wish we could stop using the word.
It starts with where we are born and who we are born to. It's not fair. Some people are born in wealthy locations to wealthy people and others are just not. Even in less developed countries being born or living near a good food source like a river might be an advantage.
We are born with genetic attributes that haven't even fully developed yet. Things like being smarter, prettier, faster, taller or a specific gender. Some people are born with debilitating birth defects, and.., It's not fair.
Simple things like being at the right place at the right time make things unfair. How quickly you hear about something, who you know... It's not fair.
As a parent, I always informed my kids that things weren't going to be fair and we weren't going to pretend. I did things to equalize situations like if they were splitting a candy bar one kid split the candy bar and the other got to choose. However, I never taught them to expect fairness, because that would set them up for a life of disappointment and bitterness, and that is not fair.
As a boss when accused of being unfair. I just admitted it. Yes, I would smile that is true "I am not fair". Once accused of showing unfair preference to a couple of my top employees, I nodded in agreement and said, "Yes, I do show favoritism to those who I find pleasant to work with and who get things done."
Now as a member of this community, I would like to inform you that nothing here is going to be fair either. Witness selection, to rewards, to projects you are selected for... They aren't going to be fair. All of these things will be impacted by the stake that you hold, who you know, your ability to write, being in the right place at the right time, etc. etc.
There is a place you can find fair:
It's not fair means... I am losing and I don't like it. :) Sorry.
Here is a great article about Fairness:
The problem isn’t that life is unfair – it’s your broken idea of fairness
Nothing is ever fair and it is what you make of every situation.
That's right. :)
lol, but if you have around $7k you can even it up some! :)
Are you talking about implants or Steem Power?
Wow. So much implants.
Well said well said ... learning so much from
Just being around great people like yourself .. I can’t complain! I get bent over, like yesterday get a little emo today but by tomorrow I’ll dust myself off and plug away as usual. thanks for the rant, and great reminder ...
!gif clap
A challenge is always the new and the response is always the old.
If you fear to loose something you are no longer free. The thing you fear to loose owns you.
Fair enough. (lol)
It's not what you know, it's who you know and it's not who you know it's what you know! 😆
It's really all a matter of perception isn't it? Most of the time my eldest daughter has the best opportunities and all the extra effort and praise from teachers and coaches put into her, because she's a quick learner and quick to take on board corrections. My youngest isn't so quick, but she's steadfast and gets there with persistence and the right kind of support. We once got a dance teacher who favoured the underdog over the high achiever and suddenly my youngest was the one who got the opportunities and the extra attention. Either way, it was never going to be fair to both at the same time.
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Agreed. I'm glad you see it!
True, although there are good reasons to cry in ones beer for what its worth, lol. But yeah, whining about it never helps, just drives away sympathy from the few one might get it from if they suffer silently.
Absolutely, ... is it wrong that I immediately think.
Save your tears for your pillow? lol
lol, not at all. Many people are self focused, and often are in the process of formulating their next response or waiting impatiently for the other to finish so they can get it out. Some take it that extra step and just cut you off before you can finish, lol. You can see this usually in others eyes as they lose focus as the words being spoken seems to push them away.
I value my words (despite sometimes being wordy) and prefer not to squander them on those who hold no value for them. This includes loved ones. If they want to know, they will ask, and even then one must be careful to know if it is a heartfelt question or the polite one that will produce an inward groan in their heart if there is a problem, lol.
The bubble of our perception can be quite fragile, and many seem in need of others energy constantly to support theirs. Not a bad thing in itself until it becomes draining :)
There are a few times on Steem that I really think I would love to have discussions and coffee (doesn't have to be coffee) with this person.
You are one of those people.
I always enjoy hearing how you view things and what your thoughts are. Sometimes, I read a post and wonder.. What would @practicalthought think about this...
Thank you. Your high opinion means a lot to me, and is mutual.
There's nothing worse than trying to be fair and being told repeatedly that you weren't, @whatsup. :) Mom's know that, and so do Dad's. Better just to be unfair and move on. That's why I don't mind being a Grandpa.
Actually, the only thing that would be worse is to be a part of a working committee that doesn't really get compensated except for having the opportunity to be a part of the beginning of something really big and worthwhile, and being second guessed, called out, and borderlined undermined the entire time. But I digress... :)
Hoping the folks involved can find someway to avoid all that, knowing I'm probably going to have my share of, "What the heck?!" moments as this process moves along as an outsider looking in (I'm very much okay with the outsider part, so no worries).
Human nature I guess. I'll try to be fai... uh,
measured,sensitive,understanding—something. I'll try to be something if I have any questions or comments. :)I think the first frenzy of second-guessing will die down.
I feel for those who are in it for the long run..
How would you like to work with 12 strangers in a public setting, to do something that hasn't been done before with 1000 detractors questioning every move...
For me the answer was "No, Thank you". :)
I can't say that I blame you at all. :)
The reality is, I wouldn't want to, so better to leave it to those who do and wish them well and hope they know what they're doing. I'm probably as qualified as I'm ever been to participate in something like this, but even I don't think I could do it to anyone's satisfaction. Funny thing is, I probably would have jumped at the chance 20 years ago.
I'll keep tabs, see where it's headed, comment if there's anything to say when a post comes out, and so forth, but that's about it. I know I don't have the answers, so there's not much to offer anyway. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Do we really have lost all sense of feeling?
Feeling for the oppressed and feeling for the oppressor.
We have intellectually explained away all our feelings, our sensitiveness, our delicate perceptions, until we are absolutely shallow.
And to fill that shallowness, to enrich ourselves, we repeat, repeat and repeat those explanations to keep the feeling of shallowness away.
One can have compassion for the unfairness without trying to make it fair.
When we try to make things fair we just mess it up anyway, because there is no fair.
I am touched. Thx.
I think everyone has a different definition of the word "fair". For some people, it might apply to your post and for others not.
Which word should we use instead of fair btw?
Someone else keeps asking me about which word to use instead. :)
I guess. All are not equal comes to mind. In different situations, things are going to lead toward different balances.
This article reminds me of what happened after the recent steem alliance election. And of course, "the great dalmuti" board game too.
Yes, I do agree that nothing is fair, but we at least try to be fair by setting rules in advance, avoiding conflict of interest, etc., and these preventative measures define how well a certain group/organization is managed "fairly".
The problem is, everything is subjective and not that many people are aware of the fact that when something becomes their case they lose objectivity. I admit that I may not be an exception as well.
I believe that the problem is not that life is unfair - it is more about broken idea of fairness.
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During the steem alliance election I heard it from all sides.
We are just trying to be fair..
well that isn't fair...
What he did was unfair...
I was triggered the whole week!
:)
That's not fair to say whatsup! Keep it balanced OK? :D