I Have No Ass or Hips!

I found myself a little dazed and confused the other day. I was working outside helping a younger man than myself, construct a fence. The air was a little on the chilly side, what I call, "a little nipply." Just enough chill to make your nose run and your fingers sting if you don't have on a thin pair of gloves.

As I was standing there, after having just screwed a new board onto the framework of the fence, my pants were sliding down a little low. So I pulled them up, and it was then I was confused, and a little miffed. It seemed as though I had no ass or hips, because I swear pulling those pants up, they almost came to right under my armpits! If they would have kept on going, I wouldn't have needed a shirt, all I'd need is pants and just tighten my belt when they hit my armpits! I was reminded of visions of "Steve Urkill"

Is this a part of the aging process? Do us men lose our hips and asses, and just grow hair, where there never was hair before, and have our balls drop, that we could use them for putting practice for playing golf? Creaks, moans and groans, just from reaching for the TV remote? I once heard it said, "If you hear moans and groans coming from my bedroom, I'm not having sex, I'm just trying to pull my socks on'. So true it is, just a mass of aches and pains.

I have no idea why I'm in such horrible shape. I worked hard all my life, was very active in many sports. I played teenis, I played hockey, I swam as long as the lake wasn't froze over. My jobs were physically and mentally demanding. I just don't get it! I'm turning into my great grandfather!

I remember our grand children, when they were much younger, would often refer to me or my wife, saying, "you are wrinkly grandpa/grandma! Your skin isn't elastic anymore, and in saying, they'd pinch a piece of arm skin and pull, to see if it would bounce back into shape or not. Thankfully it eventually did, but there were times I wondered if it would.

So I find myself just past the 60 year mark, and wonder how bad is this going to get? Mentally I feel 20, and physically... 120!