Why I adore my friends

My friends have come and gone over the years.

Some have came into my life and shook the ground that I walked on, others have browsed in, looked around and disappeared as fast as they came, and some have stuck around for the long haul. I have a few that have known me since I was seven years old. Seven, right? That's as old as my son right now. Over 30 years. It's crazy. How anyone could be bothered to stick with me through thick and thin, and through some of the harshest challenges I've been through in life, I have no idea. But I really respect and cherish them for it.

I appreciate all my friends, or anyone that comes into my life for that matter. I get that some people come and go, and some don't share my commitment to lasting relationships, but that's fine, I understand the world turns in different ways outside of my personal circle.

I read a post from @shawnamawna today about allowing her friend space to share her thoughts and feelings, and being allowed to be heard herself. I really, really enjoyed that post because it marked the respect that two good friends should share between one another. Give and take, and not necessarily a one way event, but a bi-directional mode of communication. Where one listens and the other talks, and then taking turns to be the one that's heard and the one that's listened to.

I've always been a listener myself, and for the same reasons that @shawnamawna stated. Not because I've liked to listen to people, but because I didn't feel like I was worth listening to. I didn't feel like I had anything to offer the world, so I decided that I would listen to others and focus on their needs rather than my own. Obviously this was bad for me because people fall into routines, and the more I let people talk, the less they were likely to stop for a moment to listen to me.

This is why I absolutely state that you are important. You are important enough to be heard. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. What you have to say is worth something to someone, however big or little. When I finally blossomed as an adult, I realised that I had a lot to say. I had a lot to let out to finally move forward because I had spent my life letting other people speak and not allowing myself to. Unfortunately I had to drop some people to allow myself to grow. Some of my friends just didn't like it when I wanted to be heard. It challenged the very group dynamic that allowed them to feel safe. Not that I'm angry about it, only that my needs would be better served elsewhere.

I turned a corner in my life several years ago. There came a time when I felt as if I was being heard by all of those around me, and most importantly being taken seriously. People had never taken me seriously for most of my life, mainly because I had always slotted myself at the very bottom of the pecking order. A familiar spot for myself, and my own fault for doing so. I definitely learned from that experience, though, and I have grown a lot. It's why I SO appreciate my friends now, because they allow me to speak when I want to -- a rarity from a time which seems a Millenia ago.

I've very much changed now. Have I ever told you that I LOVEE people? I refuse to see only the negative and believe that everyone has the ability to good in them whatever the person. I'm very much of a listener now. I don't talk huge amounts, but that's because I enjoy it, not because I feel I have to or I'm being squashed into listening-submission.

I've learned that people have a lot to say when you let them. I've learned that if you ask the right questions and allow them a stagefloor to talk openly about themselves without judgement they will let loose the Cracken. In a good way of course, because very few people listen to each other now. Very few people take the time to smell the roses as they walk by. Not that I blame them of course, we have Facebook telling us that we are the Sun and the world revolves around us; we get brainwashed into constantly talking about ourselves whilst not taking the time to listen to anyone else.

It's why I love my friends. My friends will drop me a line from time to time and ask how I am. As a man that has a 24/7 ear for most people you can imagine how valuable this is to me. My friends won't wait a century before trying to hook up with me again to see how I am; they'll drop me a line and tell me they were thinking about me, even if a little. I'll cherish those moments, because I didn't have that growing up. I was always the one doing the chasing, I was always the one doing most of the running around. Not now. I have a great bunch of awesome people around me.

People that value me just as much as I value them.