A story like no other 100% real Chapter 13

I think I died or was dead . now I truly exist.
I ve been giving a second chance. A chance that I asked for, with a tremendous pure sensation and devotion for the almighty.
Seeing that I was kind of religious back on 2013, when I was a freshman of the faculty of lettres and human science.
I was happy all the time. In a way that made people suspicious , asking questions about my unique abnormal happy attitude.
They couldn’t understand and I didn’t know how to explain the continuous state of joy I was embracing.
The fact that I possessed nothing material which usually do the trick for making people happy or maybe the delusion of happiness itself. and that exactly what took place.
The energy of a true believer.
I do recall it. As if it was the most glorious thing that happened to me. Possessing the happiness of the none sensory.
And then something happened , changing all the equations , causing troubleness and infection in my pure divined belief system. Trembling and falling apart until I was dead , feeling nothing with a whole emptiness in my head. My forehead was frozen , it felt like I was missing a part of me . a part that connected all dots in my reasoning affecting my soul.
I panicked . I didn’t know what went wrong to cause all this and until now, what happened spiritually is still a mystery.
Of course there was a scientific justification of my state. Even more, a delusion of what I created.
I ve been struggling with the illness until it became a friend. Who only shows up at critical moments. giving me unreal problems with unreal answers and rough unorganized reasoning
In which I easily swallowed the bate and got lost in the haze.
My brain was paralyzed and somehow stoned. I’ve tried to pray as a refuge from all this madness , but I failed ,it even got worse , as it gave me the red alert with deep chaotic disturbia of me actually losing the light leading to a greater pain and guilt and unstable negative emotions.
I remember every second of that nightmare, every moment of consciousness disorder , I was a puppet in the hands of my own monster . me .
I took drugs ; authorized by doctors. It helped in my recovery mode. Eat and sleep .
Nights looks like days and days is only proof of existence is light . light in their eyes but not mine.
What happened in 2013 , is a riddle. I was doing great but in what I’m aware of, it was a accumulation of stress and anxiety that were never set loose I a healthy way.
I should have punched someone that moment of truth of my love confession .
It was the thing that made everything falls apart. Putting me to crumble .
In 2013 , I had the light. I even thought I am special in the eyes of God , because I felt his energy in every step I made.
He wanted to protect me from my own self. So he showed me both ways .
The world of caprice and folly or the way of wisdom and enlightenment .
In a way that I only will walk through with the company of angels or satin.
If we could have marked satin’s daily visits to our minds , then we will know and trigger safety procedures .
But that would be irrelevant for satin . isn’t it?
And that will get you no efforts battling with satin , and that would be like more like eating chocolate bar than a real test .
We have measures and ways so no worry. You should only worry when you don’t know how to use these tools and that’s an actual worry. But again you will not be able to worry because satin has already got in your system making you ok with it. Deceiving you and drag you away from the light , until that light in you will turn to be a small glitter of a candle but it won’t turn off , never ever . because there is always a return.
Because God, yes ! he gives second chances over and over again .
If you follow what evil commends you to do with no prior conflict with your soul .
Then you are blind and gone too deep into the rabbit hole .