Forgiving people is usually not in our hands to do as we can't force people to forgive us of any wrong doing. Neither can we force ourselves to forgive people or better still, people forcing us to forgive them.

The art of forgiveness is indeed a process and a very hard one to walk by. We have all been wronged by people in one way or the other.

Sometimes an apology goes a long way in relieving our feelings of anger and hurt. Sometimes we can find satisfaction in the legal system, when justice prevails.

An apology might be the first line of action towards forgiveness as it can be relieving and heart calming. People often choose to use legal means to get back at people who wronged them.

But naturally, our anger doubled when we are not been apologized to.

A very popular writer said - - “It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,”

Every religion encourages forgiveness and love. My religion said we should forgive others just as our savior has forgiven us already.

I have been in situations where I have been wronged by people, cheated on so much thy I have had to loose money in many occasions. Sometimes, it was friends betrayal and clear show of bitterness that hurt me that I felt so much anger.

I have tried to stay calm and sane amidst all these. One way that I've tried to live and thrive in all these is through the following ways. I hope it'll help someone to forgive and have a calm mind

• Make excuses for people's actions

People have experienced a lot in this life and all these make their actions to be not rightly thought of. Always try and make excuses for these actions, try and put yourself in their shoes and maybe they've been wrongly treated in the past of might have attudinal problems.

Some were never opportune to experience love, honesty and peace. All these could lead to disparity and disorderliness in actions. When you give all these excuses, it'll help you not to have grudges and not feel that their actions were really directed to you.

• Focus on yourself.

Sometimes we find it difficult forgiving people and the truth is if we don't feel the need and eagerness to forgive others then the problem might be from us. It's possible that we have so much negativity in our heart that we've allowed to overwhelm us.

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Try and free your mind of negativity and try and show the next person that you're so much better than those forces of negativity. Forgive and move on with life.

• Redirect the energy

If your heart is filled with so much anger, redirect your focus. Take your mind away from that anger and pursue a passion, engage in a fun activity and try to live out your dreams

The distraction will obviously help ease the stress and bring in happiness that would help you forgive the next person.

• Learn a lesson.

Always let your bad experiences fuel your lessons for a better life. If you were wronged and the events of the activities were partly your cause, try and learn from it so it doesn't get to repeat itself again.

If it was an action in a relationship don't do them again. If it was people you met, try and stay away from people like that. Just learn from the mistakes you made and you won't get to be involved in situations where you'll be easily offended.