We're All in This Together... Even With Allergies

I have experienced a series of Fortunate Events lately. Actually, I think it’s more than just that. I believe things happen for a reason. Call it what you wish--God, Source, the All, a Shared Consciousness--there is great love in all of those.

While browsing Steemit, I happened to run across a delicious recipe, where the poster mentioned an eatery that was close to me, so I commented and we began to chat. Then it happened that her family was orchestrating a Steem meetup. At that meetup, I met wonderful people, but two in particular, with whom our interaction could best be described as a feeling of coming home. These strangers, were not strangers, but friends that I just hadn’t met yet. Since that day, we’ve met up twice more and shared so much, and it’s been effortless. Easy. Comfortable. Like home. These ladies were so kind and wanted to know what my daughter’s dietary restrictions were so they could have a little treat ready for her next time. I’ve had people ask this before and I’ve always responded the same way.

”Oh thank you! I just always bring our own snacks because the list is just too complicated.”

But, they truly wanted to know and try! Their sincerity touched my heart. And it’s given me confidence to share the following post.

We humans, each have our own issues to deal with, and we all struggle at one time or another. As parents, those issues multiply with our children. I have four amazing children, but one in particular has more than her fair share of issues to deal with. She has crazy allergies/sensitivities and gut issues that manifest themslves behaviorally and in skin issues . We have dealt with inflammation and irritation since infancy. I say “we” because although she was the one suffering, every parent suffers when they can’t help their own children.

In my description, it says, “Mad scientist in the kitchen.” This is true. Starting a new diet seems overwhelming, but once you’ve been in the trenches, it just becomes like second nature and you forget how much you struggled at first. I have put off sharing our journey, even sharing recipes because I don’t feel experienced enough, or well-enough equipped to put myself in a position of teaching others. But the truth is, this journey is never-ending. I am always going to seek healthier ways to nourish my family, heal my family and still make it taste good! I am never going to have all the answers, but I may have an answer for someone who is facing a struggle that I have had experience with!

So, here’s what our food restrictions look like now:

• No wheat ( I have hope for ancient grains like kamut or einkorn someday, but not now.)
• No oats (We avoid most grains, except rice and teff, and in very small amounts some sorghum or millet in gf flour blends.)
• No eggs (We experimented with quail eggs with no visible effects at one time, but haven’t had access any lately.)
• No nuts (Almonds are ok. We have seen major reactions with walnuts, cashews and pistachios. Haven’t tried anything else yet, but have heard macadamia and hazelnut can be tolerated sometimes.)
• No sunflower seeds
• No carrots
• No cherries
• We avoid corn, but tolerate baking powder which often as some cornstarch
• No dairy (We tolerate grass-fed butter, and recently small amounts of raw goat milk kefir.)
• No soy (If something has soy lecithin as one of the last ingredients, we seem to tolerate it ok, but otherwise avoid soy in general.)
• No stone fruits
• No artificial dyes
• No avocado (Avocado can be a base for delicious creamy dressings and puddings, plus it's just yummy, so a major bummer!)
• We avoid raw cabbage & broccoli because she gets a skin reaction. She was enjoying fermented cabbage in the form of raw sauerkraut, but we have recently began trying to lower histamines by avoiding fermented foods and vinegar for a bit to see if that helps with the lingering skin issues that we can’t seem to fully clear up.

There is more, but that is most of it, so you can see how complicated it might be going out to eat. It isn’t just asking if something is gluten free, because gluten free breads often have egg. So then we ask for GF & Vegan, but often we find corn, soy or nuts as a main ingredient. Then when you realize that many ‘natural foods’ use purple carrot, cherries or red cabbage for coloring, there’s another layer to weed through. It’s even occurred where a simple rice dish at our local health food store, that we’ve eaten every week for the last year, suddenly has carrots in it! Or the organic popcicles we’ve been buying for months just changed their recipe to include carrots for coloring. (They were pomegranate pops, which were already dark in color, why the need for more color? Grrrr…)

Anyway, that’s what we’re dealing with and unfortunately too much of some of these foods ends up in a reaction that may manifest itself through vomiting, a skin reaction or behaviorally. My child is a fierce, affectionate, justice-loving, wise old soul. She has been watching people around her eat what she cannot all her life. I do my best to provide with her with her version of whatever treat is being served, but it’s rare that I hit the mark. Birthday parties are my worst nightmares. Brightly colored frostings and toppings, sugar-laden frosted cookies and the candy… I try to prepare her and give her options, but there is always an underlying disappointment. She smiles at me and reassures me that she’s ok, that her goodies taste really good, but I see her eying the forbidden treats. Occasionally, she will cry to me how unfair it is that she can’t have what everyone else has, but then she worries about me!

This seems so petty in comparison to others who are fighting for their lives against cancer or other debilitating diseases, but she has endured so much in her few years. We all want to belong, even if we like to stand out as creative individuals, the desire to have a tribe is within us all. She just wants to be like everyone else.

Her restrictions have been responsible for many changes in our household that have led us to all eat much healthier. I’ve told her, she saved us all and she likes when we call her our “Healing Fairy”.

I know this gluten-free trend is sometimes trivialized as just a trend, but these restrictions are very real for some. Before having a kid with allergies, I remember complaining about a school going nut free. Having my child break out in hives across her face because she touched a shopping cart in Costco, where they were giving mixed nuts as a sample, quickly made me realize how tricky these allergies can be.

We’re all in this together. We never know what the person next to us is going through. The kid having a meltdown in the grocery aisle, might not need a “good swat” (yes, I’ve been told that before), they might not be a spoiled brat, they might be having an allergic reaction! You just never know! So please, please remember, we’re all in this together. And when someone offers to help, let them. Doing it all alone gets lonely.

Peace, love & light to you all.