My Divorce Helped Me Find My Passion In Life

When I first got divorced three years ago, I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up anymore because my marriage had defined me. Everything in my life had been about my husband and meeting his needs so I lost myself in trying to be his perfect wife. I had become everything he wanted me to be, he had molded me into a woman that I didn't recognize.

The short story is that he cheated on me with someone he worked with and toyed with my emotions for months by telling me that he still loved me and wanted to work things out then walking away again.

Divorce is hard! And heartbreaking! And messy! And completely life changing, no matter if you still love your spouse or not.

My life was a trainwreck, an absolute mess. I spent so much time wallowing and feeling sorry for myself that I thought I would never see a light at the end of the tunnel. My self-worth dropped to the floor and I was so terribly lost that I cannot even put it into words. If you have ever had a long term relationship end, then I am sure you know what I mean!

The day my divorce was finalized felt like the world ended and everything came crashing down around my ears. His new woman was constantly nagging about how I had ruined their lives together and she wanted us to rush through dissolving our business that we had had together.

Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

Divorces are harder when new significant others get into things, let me tell you that.

Finding the Light Again

My wonderful friends and family were forced to watch as I spiraled for a little while but eventually my very best friend came to my house and forced me back out into the world.

Every single day, she called or showed up at my house to make sure that I was ok (at least as best as could be expected). Looking back, I don't think I would have made it through without her.

I spent an entire year finding myself through journaling every single day. Because if I was going to rebuild myself and build a new career then I wanted it to be something that I was actually passionate about. I didn't want to spend anymore time building something that only pleased other people but not me.

I took the time to go back to school (college) at night while exploring multiple careers during the day.

And when I say that I explored, I really mean that. I worked at socially conscious businesses, a real estate investment firm, a movie theater, a restaurant, a bakery, and a few different start ups. These experiences helped me to figure out what I wanted from life and what I didn't want from life.

Living Your Passion

So, I went and started another business that contributes to the local homeless population by partnering with resources that provide housing and job services because that is what I am passionate about. I created investment portfolios on my own because that is what I am passionate about.

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

I took to building a career as a writer because writing has always been my passion. I told my mother when I was 10 that I wanted to be a writer when I grew up but she told me that there wasn't any money in it and I should try to get a real job. Thankfully, the world has changed so writers are more in demand and they can actually make a living nowadays :)

I started out making $1.75 per 500 word article that I wrote because the competition was fierce for new writers. That was in 2015 and I was writing 24/7 at that rate to just try to make ends meet. I turned out article after article about topics that didn't interest me in the slightest but that I painstakingly researched to learn so that I could contribute high quality work and not total garbage.

There is enough garbage on the Internet and no one needs any more, right?

But, I put in the blood, sweat, and tears to build something for myself that was mine and something that I chose. I have built my own investment accounts and have made my own decisions, whether they were right or wrong.

The reason I bring this up is because I got a message today from the first person that ever hired me as a writer asking if I would come back to work for him at a rate that is far less than what I charge per article now.

This kinda forced me to look at my life and how far I have come and I really am so grateful for the experience. Everything happens for a reason, right? It was such a relief to thank him for helping me get my start but to decline his employment offer unless he could pay my current rate or something higher than what I make now.

Getting divorced was hell and nothing that I would encourage anyone to do voluntarily if you can avoid it, but it has actually been a great growth experience for me and has helped me to find myself again. My ex and I had built a business that he wanted but I ran it and I think deep down I knew that it was killing my soul. Everything happens for a reason, right?

I am an adult now, guys! And it feels so00000000 good ;P

Thanks so much for reading!

Ivy