The Demure Driver - Tech Product Review
*This review does not contain affiliate links.
The Demure Driver is a driving companion that promotes health and safety to the every day commuter. Contrary to projections and speculations, self-driving vehicles brought more cars to the road. Every day commuters must now compete with driving bots, which annoyingly have to respect every single posted sign, speed limit, and precaution.
Here at The Demure Driver, we understand how annoying it can be to have to drive behind something that leaves 25 feet between cyclists, stops for a full 3 seconds at ALL stop signs, and has no concept of speeding past "safe yellows." We remember the days when a quick honk of the horn made the driver in front of you budge forward just enough to let you maneuver around traffic. We also remember the satisfaction that comes from extending our middle finger to the not-so-aware driver.
It is basically impossible to drive on the roads with the bots and keep your sanity, which is why The Demure Driver has come up with a way, to give you the same calm driving demeaner as the bots you are sharing the road with. You no longer have to be the one on the road in an angry stupor.
Our product comes with a standard chip that allows our computer access to your everyday vitals, through various tools already installed in your car.
Our chip is programmed by taking you on a virtual drive, where you take the wheel while driving through various landscapes, including oceans, forests, and nearly empty freeway systems. Our AI system measures your grip on the steering wheel, the mirrors measure your pupils at its most calm, and other dectectors keep track of your everyday vitals such as heartbeat, breathing rate, and cortisol levels.
Once out in the real driving world The Demure Driver system detects any anger spikes that may be caused, and rigs the car to calm you back down. The steering wheel becomes more foam like, so that you can press it repeatedly the same way you press on stress balls. If the mirror detects changes in your pupils, it adjust the lighting in your car ever so subtle, adjusting your pupils to normal size. A calm blue light starts emmiting to help you stop seeing red.
The thermostat adjusts slightly during your anger stage, to help keep you cool. And soothing music starts playing, a calming heartbeat in the background which runs at a slightly lower rate than your current one so that you may effectively be calmed down. Lastly, the car remembers your blissful driving expereince through the empty freeways, and emites a scent that was developed specifically for you, at the exact moment of bliss. We do not know why some people smell chocolate chip cookies, and others smell taco shops during bliss - but whatever the scent, it eminates gently through the car.
I received The Demure Driver for Christmas this year and am excited to try it out. My San Francisco commutes have become a headache, and I look forward to turning my car into a machine that, although cant make me happy CAN help me be less angry.
From old lady with a gun to man with middle finger to Terry Crews
😂😂😂
ha ha metzli! thank you!
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