RE: Why does god reward bullies and punish their victims ?
Wow man this definitely resonates with me on many different levels. You see, I definitely think the universe is great we just have to have some inner faith in ourselves and see where the energy is coming from.
I am currently 26 years old. I went to University because I thought this was the way to go.
I initially went to a 2 year college which took me 3 years to complete. I broke my humerus bone and now i have plates in my right arm. I have a huge scar that took me many years to get over the insecurity that people are judging my scar. This pain changed my life. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I had to wait 3 weeks to get surgery because I didnt have insurance. My arm was broken in 3 places.
So with the insecurities. I kept reminding myself that I am the one in control of my own thoughts and well being. So now I am no longer insecure because of the words that I hear come into my mind. I've become aware of those words but give it no significance or meaning.
I ended up going to a University in the downtown area where I live. But I decided to go to another University because I thought I would come out with better options after graduating.
This was the worst decision I could've made. I felt like an outcast nearly the entire time I was at the school. Especially since I enjoy reading body language and pay close attention to people's behaviors which made me believe that nobody liked me.
Because I was hispanic and everyone, i mean everyone was white? Because I came from a low income part of the state and most people had wealthy parents?
Not until I changed the words that I allowed to come into my mind.
Anyway,
One semester I had went out with friends to the bars in this small town. We were walking back go home and next thing you know another life changing event happened in my life.
Some guys for no apparent reason wanted to start a fight with me? Was it racism?
I got punched in the eye, which I believe it was with a ring and it ruptured my right eye macula.
Now I have a scar in my eye and now i cant properly see. I have a huge blur on my eye.
I would cry all the time because I had to study so hard for exams and I couldnt see well.
This changed everything. The way I studied. The way I way I work. The way I read.
Vision is such a beautiful thing and it feels like someone took it away from me?
What happened to them? I paid my lawyer $1000 and he didnt show up to court and they got away scott free for what they did to me. This was a small city and even the judge seemed to favor them. This is the justice system?
They came from behind me and attacked me. They got away with it because I threw a cigarette and that was enough for them to not get charged with anything. Because they had a lawyer and mine didnt show up.
I graduate college after 7 hard long years. One of the hardest things i've ever done. And I always felt alone when I was there. Everyone around me seemed like they had everything settled. Having such an amazing time. Huge parties, girls, drinks, money.
I felt alone for 3 years in a city where I felt alone
I graduate and I see people around me getting these crazy jobs, traveling the world. Living a wonderful life.
I'm back home. Paying student loans off and not with the job of my dreams...
I tell you this because after much thinking i've realized why I've been so stressed about my current situation.
Because I keep looking on the outside and seeing what everyone else has and what I dont have.
I must learn how to overcome my own obstacles and keep working towards my own goals. Live peacefully, happily. Have patience.
There's so much more that can be said. But I wish you patience and endurance!
I really enjoyed the book "The subtle art of not giving a fuck" and "psycho cybernetics" check them out
I went to university to - graduated at the top of my class, but only because I OCD'ed and studied 7 days a week sometimes 12 hours a day for 4 years until I got my bachelors degree in accounting. Its frustrating when I see people I helped with their homework that failed some of classes I past with an A the first time around 4 or 5 times having great jobs, while I cant even get a basic accounting job because of the way I look.
I would have never gone to university, the only reason why I went was because my dad said he would pay. 2 semesters in - I was only doing high school upgrading at this point, I stopped going to high school in grade 10 and my parent were non-existent, so there was no one there to stop me, he stop paying. Sadly I ended up taking out student loans to the tune of 30k and the rest is history. I knew it was a bad idea. What is even more frustrating is he gave my brother 200k for a house and paid for a 50k wedding in Jamaica for him, but he couldn't even pay for my school. I guess we know what son he like better.
Sorry to hear about your eye injury. People can be mean. People don't like me on sight because of the way my condition makes me look. A lot of people assume that I am on crack or meth even though I haven't taken a hard drug in my life. People usually come to the worse conclusions at first blush. I have optic glioma so I feel you when it comes to having blurry vision. I was suppose to go blind at age 6, but luckily I didn't.
I guess it is easier when I have mother nature to blame for my bad vision. It would be a lot worse if someone else caused it. I still think my mom drank or my dad punched her in the gut or something during my conception period.
You are truly a tough human being and I respect you in many different ways. After reading a couple of your post I will never know what you have been through.
Dont focus on making money and what others will think of you. Focus on yourself. Focus on the moment. The more we look at others the more we will seem unsuccessful.
It's that small voice in our head that runs our subconscious mind makes our nervous system feel a certain way. It's a cycle. So the only way to take control is to control the thoughts that run through our minds.
Focus on your oral health. Go to the doctor. Take care of yourself. Fuck your fake ass friends that laugh at others. They're horrible human beings.
Focus on yourself. Be happy with yourself... And obviously this is easier for me to say because I am not in your position...
Dont continue investing.. invest in yourself and your health
I hear you. I am just so desperate to prove them all wrong. The all laughed at me - even my own father, when I said I was going to invest in crypto, now all I have done is proved them all right.