Why bullying in school is not solved

in #bullying6 years ago (edited)

Bullying was a major problem in school when I was young. Nowadays there exists an entirely new dimension in the form of cyberbullying. About a third of kids at school claim to be a regular victim. Bullying is a serious problem that can change the character and confidence of people for their entire life and preventing it should be among top priorities of schools.

A victim, in the short term, may feel depressed, anxious, angry, have excessive stress, learned helplessness, feel as though their life has fallen apart, have a significant drop in school performance, or may commit suicide (bullycide). In the long term, they may feel insecure, lack trust, exhibit extreme sensitivity (hypervigilant), or develop a mental illness such as psychopathy, avoidant personality disorder or PTSD. They may also desire vengeance, sometimes leading them to torment others in return. source

But the problem is very complex. Conflicts among kids are common and natural. Interference is only required in more severe cases, while many conflicts are better sorted out among the kids without adult interference. It is never an easy task to help the victim. Interference may only worsen the situation or the bullying is transferred to places beyond the school. There are no easy solutions. Difficult case by case decisions need to be made.

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Almost all schools I know have anti-bullying seminars, special teachers that are there to help victims and so on. But these only work on paper. Its a simple one-size-fits-all solution and the responsible teachers still have to give regular classes full time and do this as an extra responsibility. Anti-bullying is something schools are required to have, but that is not allowed to cost any resources. Its no surprise that little good comes from these measures.

The view of parents, the schools and the government diverge significantly on this topic. The government wants so save money and have simpel answers for public outreach, the teachers want to somehow get through the day without messing up too many kids and the parents want their children to be safe and in a positive environment. A classic misalignment of interests that cannot be solved by incompetent government officials that are responsible for the decisions.

The root of the problem are public schools, where the parents dont pay, and the state does not provide what the parents and children want. Its not that the teachers dont want to help, they simply cannot. With private education in a free market (that does not have to compete against public schools), bullying could be prevented much better and there would be more resources for methods that are proven to work. Parents are willing to pay more for good schools and can put pressure when their needs are not respected. Instead of measures proposed by politicians that have no idea about cyberbullying and have last visited a school 50 years ago, modern research on the topic could be employed.

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Problem 1: Force all the kids into a pressure cooker.
The normal way to handle too much "attention" is to leave the situation.
At school, you can't escape.

Problem 2: The bully is not the problem, the victim is.
A child with a solid ego, and a good self worth are never bullied. A bully tries something, and it just doesn't stick.
Further, when a victim stops being a victim, the bully has to stop. (it has been shown to me several times) But, when a bully stops, the victim will just find another bully, or just imagine one.
The victim needs a lot of emotional work to start standing on their own two feet. Govern-cement schools can't even begin to touch this

Problem 3: Kids are little shits. Kids are vicious. It takes a lot of growing up before you stop tormenting everyone with every word you utter.

Problem 4: Govern-cement schools are bullies. You cannot ask an organization to stop bullying when their entire structure is built around bullying. Things like results based testing. Just keep hammering your idea into the kid until they repeat it correctly. Even if it is wrong; Especially if it is wrong.
Sit down, shut up, take Ritalin if you can't sit down, shut up and sit still.

I agree on 1, 3 and especially 4. On 2, i think that neither the bully nor the victim are the problem. They are both kids on the opposite side of the spectrum and need to be educated with different methods to become successful adults.

In (grown-up) society there is a lot of empathy for the victims, while the bullies are punished and neglected and this is completely wrong. Government schools that preach authority as fundamental principle naturally have to take this position.

Sounds great "on paper."

But given the fact that one-half to three-quarters of people in the U.S. live paycheck-to-paycheck, while it may be true that "Parents are willing to pay more for good schools...", the simple fact of the matter is that most parents cannot afford better schools. Thus a "free-market" solution is nowhere on the horizon.

As such, if people want things to improve, they need to hold their elected representatives responsible and force them to pay for the education system the public wants, not what privileged electors think the public deserves or is too out of touch to understand what the public can afford.

I completely agree. This change alone would likely make the situation worse.

The reason many people are in this mess is because the government has stolen their salaries, savings and retirement and spent it on defence and corruption. Stop taxation, stop regulation and let everyone use a part of the resources and land in this world.

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