Bullies

So who is the real bully? How do kids learn to become bullies? Do bullies learn from other bullies?
If you have kids bully behaviour is always something that comes up. And if you have more than one kid you will often see bully behaviour between your kids. And then as the parent you often step up to stop the bullying behaviour but we fall in the trap that to stop the bully we become a bully ourselves.
So the question is how do we stop the bullies without being bullies ourselves?
Bullies often feel threaten or want to be boss or want to be heard, they want attention and validation. Therefore a bully usually doesnt have much self confidence and self love. They feel powerless and people wont listen to them or respect them and so they scare others to get some attention.
So then to stop bully behaviour we should do the opposite. Bullies need kindness and love. They need hugs and kind words and someone to say to them you are important and special.
Bullies are people who just want friends and fun.