Defeating fear with mindfulness: Hurtling on asphalt at 110mph on 780 lbs. of metal and chrome

Battling the demons in my mind while hurtling down a California freeway at top speeds on a huge hunk of metal has got to be one of the most intense and exhausting moments I have ever experienced.

The Itinerary
Almost 10 years ago I was living in Northern California working for a small start-up. In 2009, one of my friends talked me into going for a four-day motorcycle trip. The idea was to head south, starting from Palo Alto and drive down the scenic Highway One via the coast to Big Sur before cutting inward to head towards dustier inland terrain in San Luis Obispo and then followed by stops back out on the coast in Morro Beach and Santa Barbara. To finish the trip, we headed back up Highway One to Carmel-by-the-Sea for a final stop and then back home.

The bikes
My two buddies were experienced bikers. I had only recently been riding on a small Harley 1200cc Nightster which I had been riding for a little over a year, pictured here:

This Nightster, however, was not the bike I took on the four-day trip, it was too small. My buddies rented Harley Davidson Electric Glides. I rented a Harley Davidson Road King pictured below. While my buddies wore half-helmets and jeans, I kitted myself out in top to bottom protection including Kevlar jeans, protective boots, shell back leather jacket and a full helmet. If anything happened I wanted more than luck on my side. But boy, was I sweating in all that gear. It was boiling hot.

Big Sur
The first part of the trip led us through awesome scenery. California Highway One is one of the most beautiful routes I have ever been on, sometimes it edges close to the ocean, other times high-up on cliffs and over scenic bridges and other times a bit more inland through coastal towns.

On the first afternoon when we got to Big Sur, we stopped for lunch at a place called Ventana Inn, high-up on a cliff overlooking the pacific. To this day I remember the smell of lavender in the air and the feel of the soft Big Sur air on my skin. I would love to go back sometime.

After the relaxed lunch at Ventana it started to get a bit tougher for me. The challenge I had was keeping up with my two buddies. They were leaning into every curve and just zipping along. They usually ended up being about a mile or two ahead of me and they would wait for me to catch-up.

San Luis Obispo and Soda Lake
We definitely knew we were out west. This shot is of me and was taken fueling up before we headed out towards more desert terrain. Ice-cold Coca-Cola directly from the bottle tastes so good in a place like that.

When we got inland toward San Luis Obispo and Soda Lake it was challenging to keep the bike steady and moving at a good clip on unpaved road.

I was glad when we finally got to our lodging for the night back out on the coast and to our hotel which had some awesome views and a drink on the restaurant terrace helped calm my nerves. This was our view of the sunset from Morro Bay.

Fear and Mindfulness
The last day was where things really got tough for me. We ended up on a pretty much deserted highway when we started heading back home north. My two buddies were gunning the throttle and going god only knows how fast. They were dots in the distance. Wanting to keep up and not fall too far behind I also started gunning it. We were probably going upwards of about 110 mph, which is about 175 kilometers per hour. It was then that the demons in my mind started playing tricks. Visions of me spectacularly crashing started creeping into my head. But I did not, for a second, want to entertain a single thought like that. I wanted to focus on the terrain and what lay ahead. Every time a negative thought entered my mind I had to chase it out. However, as many of you know, you can’t just “chase” thoughts out of your head so simply. I fell back to the only techniques I knew … and that was to breath, to acknowledge there was a thought, but not to dwell on it. Just to focus on what lay ahead. But the thoughts would not go quietly. It felt like I had to push them out forcibly. Once out they would come banging back on the door. This mental dance lasted for about two hours until we finally got to where we were going. I had never felt that kind of exhaustion before. Mentally and physically I was just completely spent.

Mission Accomplished
Despite the angst that I had confronted, I was and still am extremely happy about this trip - to have pushed myself to a limit and learning how to deal with it. My friends have to this day continued on with riding and longer trips, even one in Patagonia, I was happy to stick to smaller day trips through the Santa Cruz mountains and to the California coast on my Nightster. When I left California, and moved back to Switzerland I ended up selling my bike. I think my motorcycle days are over but I am happy to have had the experience and that four-day ride along with my day trips remain some of my fondest memories of my time in California.