Dowry Negotiations "Ruracio:

Days leading to the actual negotiations, the groom visits the brides home with a few of his friends. He is received by an older and respectable elder who gives him a list of requirements in order of priority.

These requirements vary from various cultures and if its the same culture - they'll vary from one homestead to the next. Mostly it's what your mother received as dowry during her time. Greed is highly prohibited and not towing the line will lead to a curse.

Well then, let us discuss in brief and in order of priority the few ceremonies that leads up to the actual dowry negotiations.

PLEASE note that what iam writting is from the Kikuyu Culture in Kenya and it varies from family to family. This was our experience when bride price was being paid for my sister.

1. Planting Twigs
   Its supposed to be in the local dialect but it's loosely translated as planting of twigs. Here, the groom and a few of his boys visit the brides parents at their home. This is to formally introduce himself to the brides parents and declare his internations with their daughter. Questions may be raised by the parents directed to the man but nothing much is expected here.
   They eat together and from then, it is known that the daughter belongs to a certain man who is known to her parents.

2. Parents meet up. "Knowing the home"
   This is an important occasion where parents from both sides meet. Its an opportunity for both parents to interact and see the people who raised the groom and the bride. Also present are the grooms relatives and friends. The groom is responsible for all the occasional items and equipments required for that particular day. He pays for the food, the tents and chairs, the music etc. He does not come empty handed and will carry gifts for the mother and father of the bride to show his good side and find favour with them. All requirements for dowry payment is read out to them and a date is set.
   Nb. Its important to write down the requirements and follow it to the letter to avoid a breakdown of communication during the dowry payment day.

3. Dowry payment/Negotiations "ruracio"

When the grooms family reaches the brides home - they are met by the women from the brides side at the gate. There is a vocal battle of singing and dance. The women from the grooms side has to be very jubilated and try hard to outdo the other side to be allowed inside the gate. It makes it all fun and lively, after all this is done they enter and the MC leads guests to the tent. A prayer is done and food is served. Those involved in the actual negotiations are led the the negotiation room. They are first asked for a she goat and a she sheep which is then followed by either a he goat or a he sheep - this is a must. Normally the bride price in this particular culture is 99 goats but then again this varries from family to family.
In our case, the groom had been asked for 4 heifers and a bull plus 12 goats. These are in most cases converted in to cash and negotiations revolve on the price for one. PLEASE note that it is not a requirement that all of them are paid for, you can even pay for one but remember you owe them and you CANNOT be allowed to receive bride price for your own daughter before you finish paying for your own!

On the list of requirements there's also some gifts and sodas for the women of the brides side. The men also are given some beer to symbolize the completion of that particular ceremony. It is said that bride price never ends.
A date for the wedding is set.

A formal introduction is made before all and it is now known that the lady and gent are man and wife and can live together. This is called a traditional Wedding recognized by the state, they may later on decide to do a church wedding.