Brexit & the Dog's Bollocks

-So the Brit's are gonna leave the EU.
-Tis a shame alright. But I've enough problems of me own to be worrying about bloody Brexit.
-What's wrong petal?
-Ah tis poor ol Frank, his hind legs are at him and he's got a pain in his nuts. He can't even go for a feckin walk these days. I actually went for a walk without him today and it just wasn't the same.
-Yep, we'll all get there in the end. Hobbling around the place, whining and crying about aches in the bollocks. Does he be whining?
-Well he's not himself, that's for sure.
-Of course not. Having a pain in the bollocks is no walk in the park I'd say.
-No it sure isn't. He can barely lift his lad for a piss at this stage. The poor fella is in a right state so he is. Sure where would you be going with a pain in your nuts?
-Not very far Tommy, not very far. It looks like both Frank and the Brits are both in a spot of bother.
-Poor ol Frank. I'll miss him when he's not around.

-Sorry to hear it Tommy. Hope he gets better soon.
-Yeah the vet didn't fill me with confidence yesterday. He reckons he won't get any better and that he's just an auld dog now.
-Well the experts don't know everything Tommy. I mean look at what happened yesterday with the Brexit yolk. All the experts seemed to think that they'd stay in the bloody thing. And look what happened there!
-His bloody legs are gone Frank, he's an auld dog now. He won't even go for a walk anymore and his nuts are nackered.
-Alright boy, I was just trying to be positive. I mean you could maybe bring him to another vet like. No harm in a second opinion.
-Do you think I'm made of money? I'm broke from that vet so I am.

-Well maybe you can get another dog if his nuts pack it in. I mean life does go on. Look at Brexit. I mean what in the name of shite are they after doing over there? But life does go on. Nobody died, did they?
-Well they did Frank, that poor girl got shot last week didn't she?
-Shite I forgot about that. Some serious nut jobs out there all the same. Blaming immigrants for everything. Dozy gits.

-I can't even think about any new dog now. Poor ol Frank. I can't even go there now. I mean I've known Frank longer than I've known you for christ sake.
-No of course not but I was thinking that if you do....ah it's nothing.
-No no go on. Finish it.
-Ah it's not that important, seriously. Another time.
-Would you just bloody well say it?
-Well when the time is right and poor ol Frank goes up to doggy heaven, and you maybe get another young pup right?....
-Yes...and....?
-Well could you fucking give him a proper dog's name for the love of God? I mean Frank is no name for a dog ya know. I mean my name is Frank, Tommy. Give him a bloody proper dogs name like Scooby, Snoop or Scoops or whatever you want. Just don't come in here talking about some bloody young pup named Christopher or whatever.
-Fucking Christopher it is. Set in stone pal!