I don’t know about you..but in my process, my Desteni process, and learning and utilising the importance and method of BREATHING, I’ve come to fail many many times. And I don’t just mean failing to breathe, which I have done too, but specifically I have delayed my breathing whilst I do or finish something else. This can be a multitude of things. For me for example, I mean, fears, worries, self-judgments etc, etc…can come up whilst doing anything. So for me, whilst brushing my teeth. Or. Before brushing my teeth.
So in this example I have either continued to brush my teeth despite this fear for example in my mind coming up and directing me. And in this example, it’s not necessarily a fear relating to brushing my teeth or anything, it can be something totally unrelated and in fact is most of the time I am doing this or that and something comes up that directs me. Anyway, the point is to STOP whatever I am doing. Brushing my teeth, 1 min into my teeth brushing routine? Fear comes up in relation to ANYTHING? STOP. Yes I have toothpaste in my mouth, on my teeth lol, can spit it out if necessary and then get to breathing.
That is what I mean. So if I have to spit out toothpaste if it will impact my breathing in that moment, then cool, do that, then breathe, then I can continue brushing my teeth after I breathe, bring myself back, get out of my mind, out of the fear, do some self-forgiveness, investigate the point then or later, or keep it in mind for later writing and investigation. I mean, not saying I must give myself 5, 10 mins to breathe, to self-forgive in that moment. Generally it’s just breathing that is needed I have found, but perhaps some self-forgiveness and then obviously can expand later.
Another example is listening to music. I do enjoy music. And I enjoy specific parts in songs a lot, like a guitar solo! So I have in the past whilst listening to music, again, a fear for example comes up, and again can be in relation to ANYTHING..so I do some breathing…BUT, I RUSH the breathing, because in 25 seconds, that guitar solo is going to begin! Lol, this doesn’t work. Fuck the guitar solo, fuck the music. This is vital shit, my breathing. The guitar solo won’t release me from the fear I have, only breathing will. The guitar solo is cool, I enjoy and admire the skill, the creativity, the sound, texture, but that is all…breathing happens and is within me and it is my tool in that moment to get out of a fear. And whatever, I want to hear that guitar solo again, rewind…or not, lol, whatever I want.
Anyway, all I am saying is their is nothing that can come before or has more IMPORTANCE in a moment than breathing. That is absolutely what I have found. Always brings me back, gets me out of that fear, out of my mind, out of anything that I am thinking that is controlling, directing me, making me not be one with my physical body. Anyway, if I am not HERE, one with my physical body, then I definitely won’t be enjoying the moment, so for example that guitar solo and/or doing a as good a job as I can do with brushing my teeth. All these thoughts, fears, judgments impact even if in minute ways.