I can no longer pretend to be worried about whether or not someone will react badly to my lack of smile, my half-hearted wave. I don't have it in me to be fake any more. I can't pretend to care about your feelings when you don't ever consider mine.
That's it in a nutshell I think. We can only control ourselves, and certainly cannot control what others think about us. I'm 52 years old now, and somewhere around 40, I decided to live those words, and I'm much happier because of it. You of course have a whole lot more going on, and I only wish the best for you.
Damn doctors too. That's shameful; my son suffers from depression, anxiety, drug and alcohol abuse, and I think it's time that our culture decides that mental health is not something to be embarrassed about. And that it's legitimate. It's no different than cancer for example ... no doctor would say to a patient, You have cancer, so just get over it. Tell yourself you're just not going to be like that.
Sending you big virtual hugs too :)
I also curate for c-squared and am submitting your post; hopefully they will stop by and show their appreciation as well. Take care.