5 books that will change your life, they changed mine!

in #books8 years ago (edited)

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The Art of Thinking Clearly

The Art of Thinking Clearly by Rolf Dobelli is a fascinating look at human psychology and reasoning. This book targets all of us that want to avoid “cognitive errors” and make better choices in all aspects of their lives.

Some examples of cognitive errors are “having invested time in something that, with hindsight, just wasn’t worth it,” or you have continued doing something you knew was bad for you.” We make a variety of illogical simple errors daily in our thinking. By knowing what they are and how to spot them, we can avoid them and make better decisions. This book is extremely clear in its prose and easy to read. There are 99 short chapters, of roughly a 2 pages each.

What I learned from it

Pretty much every chapter had something in it that made me reflect on my own thinking. I, like many of others have made many of the mistakes included in this book and mostly because they seem to be hard wired in us. The are part of the human condition. This does not mean that you can’t change and improve. An example is the chapter on “Forecast Illusion.” Look at how many financial news shows have so called experts on that tell you how the economy is going to perform or where the markets are going to go. The truth is that their ability to forecast these events are really quite inaccurate. In fact, statistics show that the viewers of these shows have just as much forecasting ability as the so called experts they are watching.

Excerpt

“Whether you go through life believing that ‘people are inherently good’ or ‘people are inherently bad,’ you will find daily proof to support your case. Both parties, the philanthropists and the misanthropes, simply filter disconfirming evidence (evidence to the contrary) and focus on the do-gooders and dictators who support their worldviews.” - Confirmation Bias

Mindset - Carol Dweck

Carol S. Dweck is a world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Ph.D. After decades of research, she discovered a simple idea: the power of mindset. In this brilliant book, she presents how success in school, work, sports, the arts, and almost every area of human endeavor can be dramatically influenced by how we think about our talents and abilities. She separates these minsets into two categories, fixed and growth. People with a fixed mindset—those who believe that abilities are fixed—are less likely to flourish than those with a growth mindset—those who believe that abilities can be developed. Mindset reveals how great parents, teachers, managers, and athletes can put this idea to use to foster outstanding accomplishment.

What I learned from it

Everybody is always searching for that reason or excuse why things have not worked out well for them. This book reinforced the idea in me that it is my thinking that creates the barriers that I am confronted with. By forcing myself to create a growth mindset, I am more prone to look for solutions to problems rather than looking for reasons why there are no solutions to my problems.

Excerpt

“It’s one thing to have pundits spouting their opinions about scientific issues. It’s another thing to understand how these views apply to you. For twenty years, my research has shown that the view you adopt for yourself profoundly affects the way you lead your life. It can determine whether you become the person you want to be and whether you accomplish the things you value. How does this happen? How can a simple belief have the power to transform your psychology and, as a result, your life?

Believing that your qualities are carved in stone—the fixed mindset—creates an urgency to prove yourself over and over. If you have only a certain amount of intelligence, a certain personality, and a certain moral character—well, then you’d better prove that you have a healthy dose of them. It simply wouldn’t do to look or feel deficient in these most basic characteristics.

Some of us are trained in this mindset from an early age. Even as a child, I was focused on being smart, but the fixed mindset was really stamped in by Mrs. Wilson, my sixth-grade teacher. Unlike Alfred Binet, she believed that people’s IQ scores told the whole story of who they were. We were seated around the room in IQ order, and only the highest-IQ students could be trusted to carry the flag, clap the erasers, or take a note to the principal. Aside from the daily stomachaches she provoked with her judgmental stance, she was creating a mindset in which everyone in the class had one consuming goal—look smart, don’t look dumb. Who cared about or enjoyed learning when our whole being was at stake every time she gave us a test or called on us in class?
I’ve seen so many people with this one consuming goal of proving themselves—in the classroom, in their careers, and in their relationships. Every situation calls for a confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character. Every situation is evaluated: Will I succeed or fail? Will I look smart or dumb? Will I be accepted or rejected? Will I feel like a winner or a loser?”

Influence, The Power of Persuasion - Robert Cialdini

Influence, the classic book on persuasion, explains the psychology of why people say "yes"—and how to apply these findings. Dr. Robert Cialdini is an expert in the field of influence and persuasion. His thirty-five years of research along with a three-year program of study on what moves people to change behavior has resulted in this book.

What I learned from it

I learned six principles of persuasion, how to use them and how to protect myself against them. I am now skeptical each time somebody makes me an offer then lowers that offer without much pushback from me. This is called reciprocal concession and is presented below.

Excerpt

“Reciprocal concession - One way to increase the chances of a request being accepted is to make a larger one (that will most likely be turned down) first. After refusal, make a second request as a concession. It is important that the first request is not extreme enough to be considered unreasonable.

  1. WaterGate burglary looks like a ridiculous idea to outsiders. It happened because G. Gordon Liddy made three different proposals in succession. Each being a concession to the previous. His last one got accepted because committee did not want to send him away with nothing.

  2. If there is an expensive and a cheap model of a product, it’s better to advertise the expensive one first. Selling down works better than selling up.

We feel more responsible and satisfied after agreeing to a concession. We think we have brought that change.”

How to Stop Worrying and Start Living - Dale Carnegie

Everybody worries. Sometimes people worry about being worried! This Dale Carnegie book has been around for a long time, since 1948 to be exact. There are good reasons why is still continues to sell and that is for the simple reason that it offers pages and pages of excellent straightforward advice on beating the worry monster. It offers a set of practical formulas that you can put to work immediately. It is a book packed with lessons that will last a lifetime and make that lifetime happier!

What I learned from it

The greatest lesson that I learned from it was that you don’t have to worry about everything. I accept the fact that sometimes things happen in life that really do cause you to worry. This can include a friend or family member who has been ill or hurt. It is not easy when your emotions take over you, however there are some very simple methods that can help you remove most of the worry from your day. One example is simply writing down this set of questions “What am I worried about?,” “What can I do about it?,” “When am I going to start putting these solutions into action?” This takes worry and turns it into a problem solving process thereby removing the worry, BAM!

Excerpt

“Think of your life as an hourglass. You know there are thousands of grains of sand in the top of the hourglass; and they all pass slowly and evenly through the narrow neck in the middle. Nothing you or I could do would make more than one grain of sand pass through this narrow neck without impairing the hourglass. You and I and everyone else are like this hourglass...if we do not take [tasks] one at a time and let them pass...slowly and evenly, then we are bound to break our own...structure.”

Unlimited Power - Anthony Robbins

Anthony Robbins calls it the new science of personal achievement. If you have ever dreamed of a better life, Unlimited Power attempts to show you how to achieve a quality of life you desire, and how to master your personal and professional life. Anthony Robbins demonstrates, by his own example, what harnessing the power of the mind can do for you. In Unlimited Power, he passionately reveals the science of personal achievement and teaches you:

  • How to find out what you really want
  • The Seven Lies of Success
  • How to reprogram your mind in minutes to eliminate fears and phobias
  • The secret of creating instant rapport with anyone you meet
  • How to duplicate the success of others
    The Five Keys to Wealth and Happiness

What I learned from it

This book did the most to make the most positive changes for me personally. I knew that this material was not knew. Anthony Robbins worked side by side with Jim Rohn, one of the leaders of personal achievement. However, Anthony Robbins seemed to present the material in a way that was highly motivating.

In it, I learned to question my values and beliefs and to start setting goals. Just the process of setting the goals have hugely rewarding. The funny thing is when I have felt like I am struggling, I look back at goals I set 10 or 15 years ago and realize that I have actually achieved a large number of them. This book also led me to discover a large number of other books and authors to check out. For the price of the book, the material in it was a large multiple of the initial investment.

Excerpt

“The birth of excellence begins with our awareness that our beliefs are a choice. We usually don’t think of it that way, but belief can be a conscious choice. You can choose beliefs that limit you, or you can choose beliefs that support you. The trick is to choose the beliefs that are conducive to success and the results you want and to discard the ones that hold you back.”

I hope this list helps you out and leads you to make a bunch of discoveries of your own.

If you enjoyed this post, please recommend and share to help others find it!

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A book that actually changed my life is the 5 Love Languages. It actually helped me keep my relationship strong and understand my partner more.

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