Book Club Friday's (#23) - How to Win Friends and Influence people

eldergill (52)in #bookclub • 6 years ago

How to win friends and influence people is world renown to be the greatest self-help book ever written. I would have to agree because, when compared to other self-help books I have read, Dale Carnegie's how to win friends and influence people has had the single greatest impact on my life in a practical sense and when dealing with other people.

About the Author

Born into poverty on November 24, 1888, in Maryville, Missouri, Dale Carnegie worked as a travelling salesman before teaching public speaking at a YMCA. His seminal self-help book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, won him a national following and enabled him to expand the Dale Carnegie Institute into countries around the world. It is regarded as one of the best-selling self-help books of all time. (I will eventually get round to reviewing How to win friends and influence people too).
Warren Buffett credits Carnegie for changing his life with his courses and books on confidence and public speaking. Carnegie, who has helped people for centuries and will continue to do so, died in 1955 in Queens, New York.

A little bit about the book

How to win friends and influence people was first published in 1937, has sold over 10 million copies, has been translated into 36 different languages and has been described by the third richest man in the world as a book that 'changed my life'. It revolves around the principle that as human beings, our greatest ever desire is to be appreciated. Knowing that basic fact, we can alter our behaviour slightly (or maybe drastically) to directly influence others and make friends with absolutely anybody we'd like to!

Carnegie himself writes:

There are Eight things that this book will help you achieve:

1. Get out of a mental rut, acquire new goals, ambitions and positive thoughts.
2. Make friends quickly and easily
3. Increase your popularity
4. Win people to your way of thinking
5. Increase your influence, prestige and ability to get things done
6. Handle complaints and avoid arguments
7. Become a better conversationalist
8. Inspire your counterparts and associates.

The book is split into four parts which I can describe as:

PART 1. How to handle people.
PART 2. Creating and reinforcing relationships.
PART 3. Influencing others and maintaining trust.
PART 4. Leadership and patience with people.

These things may seem obvious to you if you haven't read the book but trust me when I say that there are certain things that you just don't realise/understand as a basic conversationalist, or as somebody with a basic emotional intelligence level. We all start with a basic level so that isn't meant to offend anybody.

Let me give an example... It isn't news to us that as human beings, the massive majority of us only really care about ourselves. A man would sit and listen to somebody talk about him for hours, and they will be completely engaged when they are telling you about the recent holiday they took to the Bahamas, or the problems they are having with their girlfriend/boyfriend. But when it comes to you, the majority of our friends in society, don't really give two shits. (Look this seems very negative, but it is true, that's why it becomes easy to distinguish between your acquaintances and your true friends once you understand about how they work.

I could really go on and talk about this book for hours because there is so much great stuff within it. I just want to briefly mention why I like the book so much. Growing up, I was extremely arrogant, cocky, self-assured and didn't really care about others. I wasn't liked by many people, and rightly so. A few events have happened to me in order to set me on the right path to understanding myself and others better, and this book is one of those events. It has allowed me to stay patient with myself and others, to mature more as a young man and finally it has allowed me to go on to make some incredible friendships and connections which I believe will last the rest of my lifetime.

Furthermore, I have now read this book three times over the course of two years. It is something that should be studied and reinforced every now and then... oh and the audiobook is pretty great also! :)

Have a fantastic weekend, and stay safe!

Adam x