Graduating Life With Honours  
Conscious Self-Governance in God's Kingdom
__________________  

My Spirit name is White Walking Feather
My vessels name is rob in the pagé family 

Copyleft 2015, 2017 

This book is free and to be shared with my brothers and sisters, no     matter how rich or poor they may be. I do grant to every spiritual    being  the right and permission to distribute this work freely with  the    condition that any copies or adaptations are also bound by a  copyleft    agreement and will not be sold or commercialized in any way  and  remain unaltered. If you are not familiar with copyleft, you can  read  more   about it at en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copyleft  

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If the Spirit moves you to support my work, I will accept gifts of     energy so that I may continue to write, explore, create and share   along   my journey. Donations can be made through White dot Walking dot  Feather at gmail.com    

Revisions
February 6, 2015 – Prerelease   
April 12, 2015 – Final Release Version 1.0
October 12, 2017 - Updated Release on Steemit.com Version 1.1   

Chapter Six 

Relationships

   

Spiritual relationship is far more precious than physical. Physical relationship divorced from spiritual is body without soul – Mahatma Gandhi  

For me, there is no question that life here on Earth is all about relationships. With the freedom to make mistakes, we are blessed with tools to learn about those relationships and figure out which ones are important, rewarding and provide enrichment. We also figure out which ones are harmful, painful and enslaving. It literally is the difference between Heaven or Hell on Earth. If we are going to make any sense of it all, we must explore and question ALL the relationships in our lives. We have become so preoccupied with our day to day survival and physical accomplishments, that the exploration of relationships becomes a burden and as a result is often ignored until the pain becomes too unbearable. I would also suggest that many of us have not seen a healthy relationship, so if that is the case, then how can we build healthy relationships in our lives if we don't know what it looks or feels like? Each and every single one of us has challenges or issues to address. There are literally thousands of books out there to help people work on having healthy, well balanced, respectful, honourable relationships. Most of those books are focused on relationships with other people. I want to suggest that the same principles apply when we consider our relationships within the Spiritual, Physical and Fictional Realms. If we are going to graduate life with honours, it will require that we question and explore every single relationship we have. Nothing should be missed or ignored. It is impossible for me to cover all of them in detail. It will be up to you to explore them all. My intent is to highlight some key relationships that most of us may not have considered before.  

Many of those who have taken my workshops or classes in the past will be familiar with this graphic. One of the key principles I share is the realization that the created cannot be greater than the Creator. Even the king's courts recognize this one foundational truth, although they don't like to admit it.     

Illustration 5: The created cannot be greater than the Creator
  

I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, saith the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty. - Revelation 1:8 

I believe that God spawned, from his own being, countless Spirits from all that was, is or ever shall be, in order to create the Physical Realm we experience today. We all come from the Creator and yet we are also individual Spirits in possession of a physical body and our own free will to explore those relationships. As any good parent, the Creator sent us to school so that we may learn specific lessons. That schoolyard is the Physical and Fictional Realms. Now that we are in this school, we are confronted with many paradoxes, mainly because we are an expression of three realms, the Spiritual, Physical and Fictional. Within that expression we are faced with the challenge of bringing balance between each of the realms, and dealing with the contradictions each realm introduces in our relationships. In order to reconcile these paradoxes, we must explore our relationships between the three realms and everything in between.    

It may seem odd to most people because we were raised thinking that the state was the highest authority in our lives. However, when we consider the order of creation, we are confronted with the fact that it is the lowest authority and because of that, force, coercion, intimidation and deception are all used to compensate for the lack of true authority and power. The Creator created everything and as such that makes the Creator the master. We created the fictional constructs we call governments, corporations, etc. That makes us the master over these fictional servants.    

To fully comprehend our relationships, we need to be consciously aware of how it all fits together. Scripture attempts to show us, but if we don't understand the spirit of what is being said, we will miss out. Genesis 1:26 states:  

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness:     

Illustration 6: Man created in the image of God

Most would agree that we have two bodies, one physical and the other spiritual. Why is it so difficult to imagine that our physical body was created in the likeness of God, our Spirit, the essence of who we are? Illustration 6 is a graphic representation of the two beings. When God formed the body from the earth and breathed life (spirit) into its lungs he formed what we can define as 'Man'. It is completely up to us on how this relationship between the two bodies will unfold. We have free will and as such we can choose which path we will follow. It is important when we contemplate this relationship that we not be hoodwinked into diminishing who we truly are.        

Many people use the word 'human' to describe themselves. Many fight for 'human rights' in their struggle against tyranny. What is human? Would it surprise you to know that the term human is not a noun but rather an adjective? The etymology of the word is: 'of or belonging to man'. The term human is to describe the physical body only as it does not include the spirit. The physical body does belong to Man as it is an essential part of Man. It is like describing the parts of your car. The tires on your car are not your car but they are needed in order to form what we call a car. Only by working together can we accomplish more than the sum of all our parts. 

Illustration 7: Human, of or belonging to Man  

If we start identifying ourselves as just a physical being like being human, we are rejecting the spirit of who we are by not recognizing that we are Spirit. More importantly, we also abandon the highest authority and sovereignty of the Spiritual Realm. Remember that our Spirit comes from and exists within the Spiritual Realm. If we start identifying ourselves as being human, we are rejecting the essence of who we are and lowering ourselves down into the exclusiveness of the Physical Realm. Matters get worse as we move to the word that most people use to describe themselves: person. Oxford has many definitions for the word person, some of which use the word human being, but in the context of what I am talking about, I use this one:   

The living body of a human being, as distinct from the mind or soul  

Illustration 8: Natural Person does not include mind or spirit 

What this means to me is that the person is describing a part of our physical body minus the Spirit and our Mind. All we are really doing is getting more and more granular with the words that we use to describe the parts of Man. Are we a person? No, but we have a person. The most troubling part is that the state has grabbed onto this concept and tricked everyone into believing they are a person. Their Charter of Rights and Freedoms apply to these flesh and blood natural persons with no mind or spirit. Well what about Man who is fully engaged with the Spirit? The state cannot and will not engage at that level mainly because they lack the authority and jurisdiction to do so. The state did create fictional persons that we call corporations and has worked very hard to have us identify ourselves with them.    

Take a look at your drivers license and in particular the picture on the document. Is that you? How many of you said yes? What if I was to tell you that it is not you but a likeness of you? Who are you? I can testify that you are not a picture on some piece of plastic. Of that I am certain.     
 

Illustration 9: Artificial Person: a fiction

 
That is how powerful our mind is when we are not consciously aware of what we are doing or saying. If we accept that these pieces of paper or plastic is us, we have voluntarily lowered ourselves into the Fictional Realm and made ourselves servants of others as an artificial person. We reject who we are, Spirit, and reject the Creator as well.    

If we want to work on our relationships, it is critical that we ask these questions. If we reject Spirit then how can we possibly have any form of relationship with the Creator and by extension, ourselves? Spirit makes up half of the being we call Man. Being fully aware and conscious of who we are allows us to explore our relationships in ways we never have done before. There are two aspects I have not covered yet that are equally as important as the physical and spiritual, that being the emotional and mental aspects of our being.    

I've alluded to the mental when I talk about the mind. I do want to make it clear that both bodies have a mind and there are many different types of minds to deal with. We are all familiar with our intellect. That is the part of our conscious mind that allows us to observe, think and reason. It is the mind that the public school system wants to train so desperately. We also have the subconscious mind that takes care of automatic functions that our conscious mind just does not have the capacity to deal with. The subconscious mind must be programmed by the conscious mind. That is why it takes so long to learn new skills. It took us months to learn how to walk or even talk when we were babies. Now we do it without thinking. But what if that programming was flawed? Can we change the programming so that it better serves us? Absolutely. But it does require the conscious mind to engage in order to accomplish the re-programming.    

We deal with this within the martial arts as well. Except there we take it one step further to recognize that the physical body has cellular memory as well. Each of our cells has a mind of its own and throughout the training we not only program the subconscious mind but also the cellular mind too. That is why martial artists appear to be so fast. They can respond to outside stimuli without much conscious thought involved. They can leave their conscious mind open to deal with more important matters which can provide clarity of thought during a crisis. Without that level of training, the conscious mind just gets overwhelmed and shuts down.    

The one mind that I am starting to learn how to use is that of the Spirit. The universal spiritual mind is something that we are all connected to and some are starting to learn how to tap into it. For me, it required some work to figure out how to do it. My problem was that my physical intellect is so strong that it did not surrender or permit me to tap into the spiritual mind. So that connection was ignored for most of my life. What allowed me to tap into it was actually a crisis in the emotional aspect of my being.  

I do want to make it very clear that there is a difference between emotion and feeling. Feelings are a unique sense that our physical and spiritual bodies have to augment our other main senses as we move about in our environment and communicate between each other. Most people would call it our 6th sense, gut instinct, etc. For me I believe this is how we access our spiritual mind, through feelings and these other senses. We have a hard time to listen to those feelings because of all the armour and sensory overload we experience in today’s world.    

Emotions on the other hand are reactions that our intellectual mind engages in as it reacts to our environment. I want to make it clear that there is a big difference between feelings and emotions. We always have a choice on how we are going to react to a situation. The situation is not positive or negative, in fact it is neutral. How we react to the situation turns it into a positive or negative experience. An example of this would be getting into a car accident and feeling calm and loving where others would get angry. The results of the encounter would then be very different. If we don't have the mental discipline to recognize what our intellect is doing, we end up entrapped in our own mind, reacting to situations rather than feeling our way through them from a loving point of view. Going through this process then allows us to evaluate our relationships with all aspects of our being so that we can then start programming our subconscious mind to support this new paradigm. The conscious mind is the programmer and our job is to ensure the programmer is under our command and nobody else. A challenge considering all the programs that are at work in our culture.  

This may be hard for some to get their head wrapped around due to all the armour or preconceived ideas of what their life is all about. I ask that you work hard to see the spirit of what I am saying. To help with that, let me share with you my story through hell and back.  For me, learning about relationships has been a very dark, painful and disturbing experience. It entailed depression, drug addictions, suicide attempts, broken relationships, broken marriage, loss of my family, home and all worldly possessions. It was hell on earth and it nearly cost me my life. Back in the 90's, over the span of three years, I spent a total of six – one month sessions in hospital psychiatric wards detoxing off of one pharmaceutical drug to be put onto another. I was so desperate that I even found ways to justify the use of six sessions of Electric Convulsive Therapy (ECT) treatments in order to cure my depression. My physical memory has never been the same since.  

For many years of my life, I always believed that my problems were outside of myself. I constantly blamed other people for all that I was going through. The people that I worked with were jerks. I would move to another job and they were jerks too. My wife and kids were a constant source of frustration and pain. The doctors did not know how to cure depression and the drugs never worked. That is what I told myself in order to justify my behaviours. For many years of my life I used passive/aggressive (covert violent) behaviours to manipulate people. I was very good at using guilt to shame people into doing things for me. I was very good at pouting as it was a very powerful tool to manipulate people around me. The emotional and mental abuse that I used on those that I loved the most was disturbing. Many people tried to confront me on these behaviours and my response was to get mad in order to shut down the confrontation. I avoided confrontation at all costs because it was extremely uncomfortable for me.    

These behaviours did not result in a healthy relationship and it resulted in a great deal of pain and suffering for all involved. So why did I do this? Why did I behave this way? I can safely share with you given the benefit of hindsight, that there were many reasons behind all of this. I was not raised in a family that knew how to express themselves and how to have a healthy relationship. However, that only explains my behaviours to the point where I became an adult. I now believe that I continued on with these behaviours because it gave me permission to not take responsibility for my life. I did not love myself and as such why would I do anything that would express love? If I don't love myself, then how can I love others? I was not capable of expressing love. So instead, all I could express was a level of dependency that gave me permission to continue being a child. Somebody else will look after me, that way I don't have to. That was the payback for the pain and suffering I went through. If I am in pain then I made sure others felt my pain. It was very selfish and destructive. I literally felt unworthy of any true level of affection, so I acted out to enforce those feelings. Because I felt unworthy, I was not worthy of any good things in life. I was very good at sabotaging myself and others in order to re-enforce those views of myself.    

I got to the point in my life where I was so depressed and suicidal that I lost everything. I was literally sleeping in the back seat of my car, with no money to pay for gas. At that point I made a decision. I have to change or die! I had to hit rock bottom in order to surrender my old ways to a new way of living. That decision was the hardest choice I ever made. The consequences were dire and drastic. I had created the ultimate suicide plan and it scared the hell out of me. So despite hundreds of hours of therapy sessions in the past, I chose to go through a unique therapy program. This program was 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for 18 weeks of full time, group therapy. This was no ordinary group either, for their philosophy was that nobody could be there on drugs or alcohol. Confrontation was the name of the game and there were very specific and strict boundaries. Everything in my life was open for discussion and evaluated, including body language, tone of voice, words, images, etc. No secrets. No sacred cows. Absolutely everything was under the microscope to be evaluated and analyzed and it was a full time job! It required being present to ensure no assumptions were made. The conscious mind worked full time to evaluate all subconscious behaviours in order to change them. 18 weeks of that kind of work ensured that the subconscious had a grasp of the new programming before going out into the world. The whole goal was to show my conscious mind how my behaviours and internal dialogue impacted myself and others. It was designed to show the adult in me how childish I was behaving and it was time for me to view my life from a mature and responsible frame of mind.    

That experience changed my life for ever. Those beautiful souls who worked in that program, had the strength of love necessary to dish out the tough love that I needed to make the changes in my life. It also required the will and strength in myself to do the work and the dedication of those who went through the program with me. They showed me how important it is to love myself first. I learned what it takes to love myself and even simple tasks like doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, exercise, food, etc were all expressions of self-love. It gave me the opportunity to practice those skills so that I could re-program my subconscious mind before I left.    

In order for me to explore any other relationships, I first must have a healthy, respectful relationship with myself. That is why self-love is so important. All of this work takes time and one important lesson was to discover that time is that huge gift that I never did appreciate or comprehend. I wasted much of my time doing drugs, working, playing on computers, watching TV, etc. I found out that taking the time to spend with myself, family and friends is the best and most appreciated expression of love I could ever give to anybody else. Time is the best gift one can give another.    

Boundaries was also a key lesson learned. I had no boundaries for my entire life, so I constantly compromised myself and others. I had no respect for the boundaries that others had, so I walked all over them every chance I could get. Establishing boundaries and confronting others should they breach those boundaries was very challenging. Confrontation was something I learned while growing up was something to avoid. Despite the discomfort it was an important lesson for me on how to confront in a safe and loving way. It serves me well to this day.    

There are days where I slide back into some of the old behaviours. Those old thoughts are not completely gone. For the most part, I work hard to love myself and I work hard on my relationships. I have joyful days and I also have some very painful ones too. With vigilance and persistence I get through life knowing this is a journey that will take years. I now know that the only one I can change is me, however I can influence others by walking a specific path and sharing my story. My new appreciation for relationships and all the work that I did in the six months after the therapy helped my wife and I decide that it was worth the effort to work on getting our marriage back together again. We were separated for three years and days away from signing the divorce papers. I don't blame her for getting the divorce as I was a very abusive man. During our separation we both did lot of changing during that period. The fact that we were both willing to reconcile our marriage and put in the work is something that is not seen very often in modern culture. For most it is easier to throw the relationship away and start a new one as we have been so accustomed to a throw away society and instant gratification. It is a testimony to the dysfunction of relationships we face today. Even in the martial arts classes, 99% of the people who start training end up quitting before they get their black belt.  

We decided that in order to have a new relationship, it required very strict boundaries, guidelines and a way to re-establish trust. We would talk for 3-4 hours each night for months in order to establish the boundaries and deal with all the pain and suffering that was experienced in the past. We talked and talked for months in order to resolve all our past issues. It was also necessary in order for me to demonstrate to her that I had changed my ways. Trust is not easy to reestablish, especially when the trust was breached for so many years through such abuse. I knew that if she was going to trust me, it would require an absolute dedication, meticulous attention to details and an unwavering commitment, vigilance and persistence in demonstrating a new way of living, thinking and feeling in order to rebuild the trust. It was extremely painful for me to have to admit and accept that I hurt her so much. Accepting responsibility for the abuse and knowing that it would take time to heal the old wounds meant that I could not have the intimacy or level of relationship I wanted for some time. I had to process the pain associated with that on a daily basis. It required the same level of dedication and commitment I showed towards myself so that I could trust myself to do this level of work.  

To this day, I often say ACTIONS speak louder than words. I could tell her all I wanted, however the moment my behaviour resorted back to the old ways, words meant nothing. It took over two years of unwavering vigilance and persistence before we got to the point where Carey started to trust me again. The sadness, pain and sorrow that we went through in order to accomplish this level of healing was intense. I suspect most people would not want to do that level of work. We did and I believe we are both better people because of the experience. Years later we live our lives living off grid, building our own home, growing our own food, with little money in our pockets. We have found a comfort in our relationship that gets us through all the challenges we have faced. They say if you get through building a home then your marriage is good. We also took the leap so that we can also work on our relationship with the Creator as well. Removing all our dependencies from the state and corporations so that we could work on our relationship with the Creator took a leap of faith, lots of work, and a commitment comparable to what we showed each other when we reconciled our marriage.    

Why the story? I discovered my life purpose through the experience. I know that it is my duty to share with others all that I have learned. I believe that the whole purpose of this life is to learn how to have healthy relationships and through this experience I learned what it takes to accomplish that. I am now working on sharing what I have learned with people like yourself.  My truth is that everything is about relationships. If you are unable to have a healthy relationship and you have the will to learn, then I will do what I can to teach or guide you, just as those beautiful souls did for me during my therapy sessions. It may not feel comfortable, but it is all done out of love. The challenge is that if you are unwilling to do the work, then I cannot help. Currently I find that the vast majority of people lack the will to change and as such I believe that a great disturbance is required, just as what happened in my life, in order to make things uncomfortable enough to influence peoples will to change. That great disturbance will not be by my hand but rather the Creators.    

All relationships require both parties to spend a great deal of time communicating with one another, coming to a consensus on issues and ensuring that all interactions are done with honour, integrity, empathy, trust and love. As soon as one party resorts to violence, force or other passive/aggressive forms of coercion, then the relationship is abusive and it is the right and duty for those involved to fix it, confront it or dissolve the relationship. All relationships in the Fictional and Physical Realms will end. One way or another. The State does not actually exist, but rather is nothing more than an expression of a relationship between individuals. That relationship can be changed or terminated just like any other relationship! If those who govern resort to violence or coercion, then there are steps one can take to deal with the abusive relationship. We definitely live in an abusive relationship today. What is required is to recognize that specific behaviours are not alright and the courage to establish boundaries to hold others to a higher standard and expectation of behaviour.  

The great disturbance will soon be upon us and we all have a choice to embrace the opportunity to change how we relate to our selves, the Creator, other people, our environment, food, water, air, animals, plants, etc – or we can terminate our physical existence and return to living purely in the Spiritual Realm. I choose to change and grow with these opportunities and to share all that I have learned with others, so that we can all benefit from the experience. Learning how to change and deal with the feelings of that change will be a key skill throughout my lifetime.  

I can testify today that I am happier and more secure now than I have ever been in my life. That happiness and security does not come with money in the bank, nice car in the driveway or a fancy home, but instead it comes through my relationship with my self, my wife, two sons, dear friends, animals, plants, environment and my complete faith that the Creator, God Almighty, will provide all that I need when I need it.    

For me, one of the biggest lessons was to realize that in my relationships, I will always experience some pain. I lived most of my life avoiding pain at all costs and as such I was not able to get close to anybody and lived in constant pain. All my relationships were superficial and hollow. By avoiding the pain, I created a constant flow of pain. The irony does not escape me on that realization.    

One of the most scary things I did to heal was to take the risk of opening up my heart and exposing my fears and feelings to others in the group. Normally I protected myself with physical and intellectual armour that ensured that my feelings and spirit was protected. There are millions of people who continue to live this way and as a result, miss out on the beauty of real, intimate relationships with other people. I learned that there is no way that I can truly experience what I was looking for – peace, love, compassion, empathy, friendship, etc., unless I was willing to take the risk of being hurt. Taking that risk then showed me yet another truth. It is not until we experience and fully resolve a conflict that we can really and truly get to know somebody and build the relationship stronger. Everything is all fine and dandy as long as everything is going well. However, the true test comes when conflict arises. How well we deal with conflict will show how mature and balanced we are as a physical/spiritual being.    

For me, I found that if I took the risk to be completely vulnerable by shared my deepest, darkest secrets with others, they in turn would feel fairly safe to share them with me. I have lost count on how many people who have shared with me what burdens them. I believe it is because I am so open now about how I feel and my discussions with depression and suicide. I used to be terrified about all this and now I find that I have extremely intimate relationships with other people because they found the courage to share with me what they kept locked up in their heart. I cannot express in words how great it feels to know somebody at such a deep emotional and spiritual level. It required that I take the first step. I've done this for years now and I've even done it with clients and co-workers when I was still working in the city. My approach to relationships resulted in a nearly 100% client retention rate over a 5 year span. Unheard of in the IT industry. I suspect most professionals would balk at the idea too. I found that having intimate relationships like that paid off.    

What was required was the courage to take that first step. That was a heart wrenching, emotionally and physically draining experience. It took days and days to find the courage to start talking about my demons. Confronting myself and being honest with myself was the first step. It was made easier by watching others do it, but it was still hard. Once I did it, I felt a bit lighter and relieved. The second time was still difficult, but it was a bit easier. Now, after 15 years, I have no qualms about telling people how I feel, what I think and what I believe. It flows out of me mainly because I am willing to take the risk in order to experience the intimacy of my relationships and I am willing to deal with the pain. I've run into many people, even my own family, who are absolutely terrified to take that risk. I pray for them for they are missing out on a lot.  

I know that I will be hurt. I know that all my relationships in the Physical Realm will end. I know that my heart will be stomped on from time to time because we all make mistakes. The human aspect of our being is not perfect. I am at a point in my life though, where I will do what I need despite what others say, think or do. I have decided that I will live my life the way I need to live it. Even if it goes against what everyone else believes. It was difficult to get to this point, but I am grateful that I have found it within myself to have the courage to stand and be who I AM.    

I will admit that figuring out that I AM a spiritual being with a physical body really helped me overcome many fears. I AM now no longer afraid of dying. I have some fear in regards to how I will die, but I completely look forward to experiencing the process and looking forward to detaching from this physical body so that I can re-join others in the Spiritual Realm. That excites me greatly. To get there though requires that I finish what I started, which is to learn and experience all I can. I won't squander the opportunity God gave me!  So, let's explore some of these relationships and what they mean to me. It may appear odd, but I had to start with my relationship with myself, which I just shared with you. This is the key to the whole book.    

Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.    - Matthew 22:39  

This passage talks about our love for our neighbour but it also requires that we love ourselves first before we can express any level of love to anybody else. So the first place to start is to love myself. The previous chapters have already given you some tips on how this can be accomplished. Time spent on the self is critical. I once helped a lady with this concept by asking her to find a mirror. She found a tall, full length mirror. I then asked her to write statements on the mirror. Making sure that each statement started with the words 'I AM'. Here are a few of those statements she wrote:  

I AM beautiful  
I AM smart  
I AM intelligent  
I AM lovable  
I AM healthy  
I AM a great mom  

Here is the thing about the words we use. The brain cannot seem to look past words like 'anti-' or 'not'. If I say “I am not stupid”, the brain sees the word 'stupid' and pitches the rest, resulting in programming our subconscious with the term “I am stupid”. So use positive, self-affirming words instead. I find using the 'I AM' is a great tool to make sure I state clearly what I AM accomplishing. That is why Mother Teresa would not participate with an 'anti-war' rally. Instead she would participate with a 'pro-peace' rally. See the difference? So when we see campaigns from the government regarding 'anti-drugs', 'anti-war', 'anti-terrorism', etc what are they really creating? That is right; drugs, war and terrorism. Enough of that crap. Time to create something different. Time to create what we are truly looking for: peace, love, prosperity, joy, freedom, etc.    

Our words are extremely powerful. One of my best friends has a son who was eight when he told her that words are like magic, you have to spell them correctly in order to cast the right spell. The statement stunned me and I've never forgotten what he said. It is so true and I know it to be true because the words that I used during my depression days are so much different than the words I use today. The internal dialogue that goes through my mind manifests emotions and impacts greatly what happens to me from day to day. I create my own problems. No question about it. To be free requires that we admit that we are our only and biggest problem. There is nobody to blame but our self. I AM 100% responsible and accountable.  My conscious mind is a powerful tool. The words that I use program my subconscious mind. It is the subconscious mind that governs most of our behaviours and activities. If we are not completely conscious of the words, thoughts and feelings that we are expressing, then how can we possibly change what happens to us and our subconscious mind? This is where a great deal of discipline is required to ensure we are expressing what we truly want in our lives.    

The biggest problem is that we often lie to ourselves. For the longest time I could not seem to break free of those lies. Why would I lie to myself? What is the point? After all, I know the truth, so why lie? I realized that I would lie to myself to keep myself in a familiar place as my behaviours reinforced my thoughts and feelings about myself. I found that there was the perception of less pain if I stayed in the familiar than there was to step out of the familiar and try something new. The reality is that stepping out of my familiarity zone (which was not comfortable) to try something different often resulted in experiencing greater joy, peace and satisfaction. So I have taken the idea that should I experience any fear or anxiety, my new goal is to then confront it head on. So instead of turning and running away, back to what is familiar, I consciously head straight towards all that I find uncomfortable or afraid of. Every single time I did that, I learned a lot about myself and it resulted in the fear and discomfort going away. So rather than stepping outside of my comfort zone, I've decided to expand my comfort zone so that it is so large, that nothing is uncomfortable any more.    

In 2005 I was invited to be a referee at the 2005 Canadian Tae Kwon Do championships in B.C. The prospect of refereeing world class athletes scared the hell out of me. For the whole first day I sat on the side lines or did a little corner judging. But getting into the ring with the athletes as the main referee was something I was not willing to do the first day. Then I decided that I have to get into the ring if I was going to get past the fear and anxiety. So I found the courage to do it. The first match my heart raced and I did more sweating than the two competitors. But I did well and I got through it. I did not make any glaring mistakes that would cause any controversy. The second match was a bit easier. By the end of the day, I was having a blast and I ended up having a lot of fun. It was an honour and a privilege to help out at such a calibre of competition. Later that year I was invited to referee at the Junior-National TaeKwonDo Championship in Edmonton. I was all for it and I went with a completely different attitude than I had in B.C. I had a lot of fun and afterwards I went home with a great sense of accomplishment, joy and satisfaction. It was not until later that I found out that all the other referees at the competition voted me as the best referee. I was shocked, amazed and deeply honoured. There were a lot of people there with credentials and experience far beyond what I had and it was a complete honour to be recognized for my work and dedication to the sport. I would never have accomplished that level of performance if I submitted to my own internal dialogue and gave up on the first day during the competition in B.C.    

I was able to accomplish world class achievements because I trained for years, disciplined and challenged myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There were many days where I wanted to give up. Many days where I did not feel like training, but I forced myself to go anyway, only to enjoy the time there. I fought for many years not to submit to the doubt, negative thoughts, and the internal dialogue that kept telling me that I was no good, that I could not do it, that I would fail or that I would look like an idiot to others. I can stand here today to testify that those thoughts and emotions are nearly gone. At times they still come around, but for the most part, I know I can accomplish anything I put my mind, heart and soul towards. For years I never finished anything. Now I can testify that I hold a third degree (3rd Dan) black belt in Tae Kwon Do. I quit my job and moved our family out into the country. We built our own home, raise our own livestock, produce our own power, collect our own water, treat our own waste and do all that is necessary to support and sustain ourselves as free spiritual beings. It can be done. I know for a fact that it can be done, because we are doing it!    

In order to accomplish this level of performance though requires a healthy relationship with the self, the ego, the I AM. It requires discipline and training. It requires confronting ourselves and establishing positive, self-affirming internal dialogue. If you say 'I can't', then you are right. If you say 'I can', then you are right. Either way, you are always right. Does not matter what other people say. My dad literally told me that he cannot change. It saddens me greatly because I know that it was his choice. I've also been judged by family and friends on how we live our lives. I am at the point where the pain from hearing such things hurts but I cannot let that deter me from proceeding. There is nothing stopping us from making changes in our lives other than ourselves. The power is within. All we have to do is make a choice and act upon it. I care what others think … but not that much! I refuse to live my life based on what other people think. I will listen to them while engage in critical thinking. But if it does not fit, then I will reject it and move on. If it does fit, then I will listen and make some changes in my life.  

Now, when it comes to relationships though, we still need boundaries. I've found many individuals in the freedom movement who think that they are free so they can do what ever they want. Some of them would speed and do all sorts of things and then wonder why they still get into trouble. For me, despite me being God source energy with unlimited potential, I do feel that I need to set some boundaries on what I can or cannot do while I am here. After all, my actions could harm others if it is not regulated. The only difference is that I choose to establish those boundaries myself rather than having some other third party who has no clue on what I am capable or incapable of doing. This is where the concept of self-governance comes in. Just as on a motor, a governor is required to ensure the engine does not spin too fast. If it spins too fast it will literally fly apart and destroy itself and could cause damage to others in the process. To place self-limiting boundaries, I too want to ensure I don't destroy myself or others. Most importantly, I want to ensure that I do no harm or cause imminent harm to anybody else, physically or spiritually. Part of self-governance is to self-restrict which are self-imposed boundaries.  

All relationships require boundaries to ensure that no harm is done. However, where most of us fall down is that we either don't establish the boundaries or we don't confront those who breach those boundaries. For me, I had no boundaries mainly because the definition of me was so abstract, I had no idea who I was let alone what was important for me. I did not love myself so why put any boundaries up? Being abused by others was just a normal part of my self-abuse. Yes, I abused myself to show that I was not worthy. Drug addictions, alcohol, computers, TV, food and all sort of other forms of abuse was part of that process.    

Now that I love myself, I cannot bring myself to accept abuse like that anymore, from myself or from anybody else, especially from those who wear the masks of the state or corporations. Because I love myself, I had to establish boundaries. A standard upon which I would govern myself to ensure that love was not under attack. That attack came from others, but most times it came from myself. Confronting myself is much harder than confronting others. Learning how to confront in a safe and constructive way was a skill that most people lack as well, including myself. Either way, I avoided confrontation at all costs because it felt very uncomfortable. I hated it. It felt violent and unnatural, mainly because I did not have anybody in my life to show me how to do it in a healthy way.    

What I found out was that when confronting people or myself, there is a healthy way and an unhealthy way. Unhealthy approach would be to make statements like 'you never', or 'you always' or to pout, threaten violence, etc. I used these kinds of approaches all the time and then blame others for things that happened to me. For years the problems in my life were always my wife's fault, or my kids, family, friends, co-workers, the government, corporations, etc. It did not matter how many jobs I had, where I moved, the people that were around me were ass holes.    

However, now I use statements like 'I feel', or 'I AM' to maintain the peace. What that does is it forces me to take responsibility and express how I am feeling or how I was impacted by events. So other people no longer have to feel threatened by my accusations and now they may even be in a better position to hear what I have to say. My old approach would just end up in arguments and hurt feelings resulting in thick armour to protect themselves. Now, I end up having people relate to what I am going through with little to no armour. They can express empathy and compassion because they can listen to me and feel safe, knowing they are not under attack. It is a peaceful form of confrontation and the groundwork for building a strong relationship compared to anger, hostility or hate. This does not work with everyone, so at times I must recognize that the other individual may not be ready for a healthy, balanced, respectful relationship. After all, I cannot please everyone. At that point I will have to say goodbye.    

I have done this with my relationships with a few friends, family members, the state and many corporations. I had a lot of mourning to process as I dealt with those losses. There are so many people who have no idea how to have a healthy relationship that I had to put up some boundaries because I love myself too much to put myself in a position where others are taking advantage of me or not respecting my boundaries. Many hurtful words were said and many hurtful deeds were done. Those that wear the masks of the state or corporations are some of the most blind individuals I have ever come across. I love them dearly but cannot bring myself to compromise who I am just to have a relationship with them. This is very significant as it hits very close to home for me. I have a brother and a sister who are police officers. My brother's wife is also a police officer and I have two uncles who are retired from the police force. My dad worked in the medical industry for nearly 40 years and my mom was a nurse, worked for victim services with the RCMP and in the high school for many years too. My parents were foster parents for 10 years as well. My family is extremely dedicated to service through positions offered by the state. I love them dearly and I pray they are happy. I will not do what they are doing and I know they do not understand what I do.  

It brings much sadness and pain due to all I have learned in my life and yet watch those that I love so dearly, be swallowed up by the fiction that has grown up around us. I pray for them constantly. I know they have a very hard time relating to what we have done in our lives and I pray that they can accept me for who I am and the choices I've made. Otherwise, I must say good bye. I accept them for their path and journey. I pray it serves them well.  For most of my life I thought I was a person. Then eight years ago, I discovered that I was not a person but rather a human. It was not until a few years ago that I expanded my view of myself and I view my life now from the Spiritual Realm and that changed everything. I recognize that I was created in the image of God and as such I accept that my duty is to do the best I can while I am here for the rewards of graduating will be immense. That means that I am willing to forgo physical and fictional benefits in exchange for Spiritual rewards. I know that the sacrifices I make here will benefit my spirit for ever. My relationship with God is no different than my relationship with my parents. He too uses benefits and privileges to help guide me through to spiritual maturity, just as my physical parents used benefits and privileges to guide me to physical maturity. It was my responsibility to grow emotionally and mentally at the same time. I don't blame my parents as I know they did the best they could with what they had. Now that I am an adult, it is my responsibility now, so I hold no blame or ill will towards them. They did the best they could and now it is my responsibility to pick up and finish what they started.    

With that realization, I must also conclude that I am also responsible to ensure I accomplish spiritual maturity before this life is over. That, I found, is way more difficult than the physical, emotional or mental maturity. Spiritual maturity required that I completely change my whole outlook on life. For the vast majority of my life I was focused on material wealth and acquisition. After all, the one with the most wealth and toys wins. Right? For those stuck in the Fictional and Physical Realms that statement would be true. However, for those looking for a healthy spiritual relationship, the paradigm is completely different. Now I must build a healthy relationship with all life on earth and honour all the spirits, including God!  Because all matter is formed by a spirit, that changes how I approach my relationship with the earth, plants, animals, etc. I now recognize that my body was sick when I used man made chemicals and crap. My body is much healthier now that I eat real food. Honouring the spirit of that food, whether it is a plant or an animal is part of that process. It does not matter what form it comes in, mineral, plant or animal. I give thanks and I honour the spirit of all that I use, interact with, or consume.    

Everything here has feelings as it is an expression of the spirit, even though those feelings are not expressed in ways that we may or may not recognize. We were placed here to demonstrate our ability to have healthy relationships with not only ourselves but with all those that we are supposed to look after. Despite the bible saying we are to have dominion over them, the important aspect of that relationship is to ensure that we replenish the earth. One of the things we will be evaluated on is whether we embrace our relationship with all the other life forms and spirits that are here and help them to prosper as well as each other and ourselves. They are there to serve us, just as we are to serve God. But that does not mean to be disrespectful or belligerent or force our will against them. We must honour and respect all life and give thanks for their sacrifice should we need their flesh (mineral, plant or animal) to sustain our lives. That means only using what we need, not what we want.    

This has been a huge point in our homeschooling with our two boys. Teaching them the differences between needs and wants. The irony comes in once we recognize that what our body needs and wants is very different than what our soul needs or wants and very different than what our mind needs and wants. Many people get angry with God because things happen in the Physical Realm that is designed for our spiritual growth. They do not recognize it for what it is because it was physically, emotionally or mentally painful. For me this was a huge eye popping moment when I put the famous text into context: The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. For most of my life I thought this meant that I don't want the Lord as my shepherd. When I realized that what it means is that because the Lord is my shepherd, I will receive what I spiritually need and because of that I shall not want anything else. That realization changed my whole outlook on my relationship with God and all of his creation.    I now recognize that God, as a dutiful parent, has placed boundaries and consequences on how I am supposed to behave through what we call Natural Law. Those boundaries and consequences are there to guide me towards spiritual growth and maturity. The school ground is life in the Physical and Fictional Realms. I have free will to choose how I am going to interact in these realms whether I am consciously aware of the consequences or not. It is my responsibility to confront the truth of my relationships while I am here, now that I have the mental and emotional maturity to do so.    

Ah, but what about those who don't have the mental or emotional maturity? What about all those people who are vulnerable, experience mental injuries, mental retardation, physical disabilities or any other challenges in life that prevents them from accomplishing all this?    

I believe that the vast majority of people have the capacity to have healthy relationships with others, even with disabilities. What is required is the will and the ability. If they lack the ability but have the will, then it is our duty to teach them the skills or look after them so that they acquire the ability to do so. If they have the will and the ability, then they are most likely well on their way and all they need is our encouragement and support. However, for those that have the ability but lack the will, they are on their own. Love at times requires an expression of tough love. There are times where life lessons are required so that they experience the consequences of their actions or behaviours. Sometimes those consequences are very painful and hard to watch. Tough love was dished out toward me on many occasions when I was depressed and spaced out on drugs. I got very angry and frustrated but it was because I was not taking responsibility for my life. I would not own my own problems and deal with them. So some people in my life gave me a lesson in tough love that took me years to recognize and appreciate. When people come to me with depression issues, I will listen to them and I also have no qualms about confronting them either. I don't walk on egg shells when I deal with depression, in myself or in others. Mainly because I know what is going on with the internal dialogue and I will call it the way I see it. Suicide requires a bit different approach since death to the body would end all attempts to interact and help the spirit, mind and body.    

The biggest barrier is what we tell ourselves and the excuses we make to prevent us from making changes. We are extremely powerful creative beings and what ever we put our mind, feelings, body and spirit to work on, we can accomplish. What is required is a level of belief in the self, discipline to accomplish it, a burning desire not to give up and people around you to support and encourage you. It does not matter what others think, say or do. Thomas E. Mails in his book “The Hopi Survival Kit” put it perfectly when he stated:  
  

The forces we must face are formidable, but the only alternative is annihilation. Still the man-made system cannot be corrected by any means that requires one’s will to be forced upon another, for that is the source of the problem. If people are to correct themselves and their leaders, the gulf between the two must disappear. To accomplish this one can only rely on the energy of truth itself.    

To bridge the gulf between ourselves and our leaders we must become our own leader. In order to accomplish this task, a lot of training, education and hard work is required. Being a leader takes courage and wisdom. It may take many years to accomplish that task. Having the skills to see and hear what our Spirit and others are telling us will give us great insight into ourselves and our relationships with those around us. Many mistakes will be made along the way but we will learn from each one of them. We may have to expand our familiarity zone so that we can acquire a wide range of skills sets. We must have healthy relationships where we don't force our will upon others but instead honour and respect one another. That starts within and must be driven from the Spirit, the highest authority we can express. The Spirit must drive our lives, not the mind. The mind is a tool to help us accomplish the goals and desires of Spirit. A great leader will do all he/she can to ensure others grow up to be self-governing adults as well. They won't encourage dependence but rather independence which leads to inter-independent relationships. A great leader will encourage the individual to be his/her own leader. Only then will we find it within, to love all that we are, where we are then capable of accomplishing great things in our lives and able to learn how to have healthy relationships so that we may graduate life with honours.