Hedgehog's dilemma

It was Schopenhauer in the 19th century who first described the hedgehog's dilemma. Hedgehogs, which want to warm up and get closer together can't do that because of their spikes, so they stay cold. Metaphorically it is similar to human relationships: regardless of good intentions, human intimacy cannot occur without substantial mutual harm.

My favorite Lithuanian novel, 'Tula' by Jurgis Kuncinas, reminded me about the hedgehog's dilemma. I read the book three times and thought: this must be a common paradox. Especially nowadays emotional closeness is a risk, and a drug. The book is a tribute to a girl who chose suicide over her struggles with reality. It is also a well painted picture of Vilnius in the 80s and its bohemic communities of Soviet times, about alcohol, poverty, and love that was not meant to be.

Tula is illusive, vague, impossible to grasp. She is a free spirit. She might be just a drunk man's dream. Little modest girl, a toy designer.
Him - an intelligent guy, alcoholic treated in a mental hospital, generally unhappy. Doesn't make decisions - just goes somewhere and hopes for things to happen. He is not the subject, but the object. Slave of the system, closed in the sufferings of his soul. It turns out they know each other for just a week and a week is enough to turn the world upside down.

I could go on forever describing the city and its architecture in the book - the slightly oniric and slightly catastrophic, dangerous creature that Vilnius is, but it's better if you take a look at this website where you can view Vilnius with the eyes of the protagonists.

'Tula' is depressing and heavy, it will make you sick to your stomach as it washes dirt off the sidewalks and gates of Vilnius shortly before regaining independence by Lithuania. On the other hand, it is deep and lyrical, and sharp, and it's a glimpse into the human soul, feelings and needs. It's a space for rediscovery and reconsideration.

Funny story: it was a compulsory reading for a contemporary Lithuanian prose class I took while doing my second degree. I will never forget how the lecturer selected me to talk about my impressions and analyze it first. I started saying "it's what we all experience but not everyone has the guts and skill to write it down" and everyone gave me a surprised look. It was years and dozens of conversations later that I understood it isn't exactly so.

Jurgis Kunčinas, "Tūla", 1993, 234 pages