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RE: [Original Novel] Ragnarok Conspiracy; Air (Part Four Chapter Five)

in #book7 years ago

While both wore white, and both were old and somewhat frail looking gray old man in their mid-sixties, both their clothes and way of walking, but also the way they interacted with each other showed these two were in no way alike.

This sentence is somewhat awkward in how it flows. Here's my suggested fix (changes in bold):

While both wore white, and both were old and somewhat frail-looking gray old men in their mid-sixties, their clothes, their way of walking, and the way they interacted with each other showed that these two were in no way alike.

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