I Used to Be a Miserable F*%! by John Kim | Book Review

My latest post: http://www.coreysleep.net/i-used-to-be-a-miserable-f-by-john-kim-book-review/

Miserable F*** might just be an understatement for describing John Kim’s life only a decade ago.

He crapped all over his marriage to a great girl, and the divorce broke him. But the break was exactly what he needed to wake up and, finally, grow up.

I love Kim’s honesty. He’s a therapist at heart (and in real life), and I benefited from his vulnerability. Apparently, I’m not the only one with issues. Good to know.

He reminds us that there’s a lot of ugly in life, and hiding from it doesn’t help. When you see that ugly for what it is, it scares you into action.

Ultimately, that’s John Kim’s heart: he wants men to grow up. He tries to masculinize therapy, which I appreciate. He doesn’t pull punches, nor does he use much fluffy or awkward language. It’s plain and simple. He really is trying to reach the “everyman,” and I think he does a good job.

All that said, I didn’t love Kim’s writing style. It’s jagged and jarring, and at times disorienting even though the book is laid out so simply. I recommend reading John Kim like his shot glass metaphor would suggest: one or two of the short, punchy chapters coupled with some reflection (what, you don’t meditate after shots?). If you’re a journal/prayer/meditation guy (or gal), do it, and think about something you can change that day.

My other beef: sometimes the book feels like a list of dos and don’ts. Actually, that’s pretty much exactly what it is, and it’s intentional. Could just be my preference, but I wanted a more thoughtful treatment of life, love, and duty.

When he comes to those crossroads, Kim simply says you have to “find your own truth.” I hate how post-modern and cliche that sounds, but I get why he says it. He can’t tell you what your life is about, and as a therapist, he doesn’t want to. Still, it feels like he’s dodging something important.

That said, I still feel a sense of meaning in reading Kim’s story and his transformation. It’s archetypal, and always beautiful, for a human being to hit rock bottom only to rise from the ashes. I’m inspired.

John Kim is helping me grow up.

Would recommend.

(In short bursts).