Rant - I've always been this way
I'm really bad at keeping in touch with people. I've always been this way. It's not that I don't care. I still follow what's going on in peoples lives. I just end up feeling really nervous when I go to send a random message.
I think this is part of the same reason why I'm scared to sing in front of people. I go so long not doing what I feel like I should do, that it gets hard to start from the start line again. I feel like I'm more comfortable just wandering off on a beaten path and getting lost in the woods, where no one can see me.
Sometimes you just don't know what your problem is or how to fix it, even though you want to. It's just fucking ingrained into you so hard that you literally have to claw layers of skin to start to pry it out. It's scary, but it becomes scarier knowing what you're losing out on. I could die the next day, and what was my life? Too scared to be memorable. I'll just turn to dust and fade away.
I'm trying to change and figure myself out. I feel like it will happen soon. I'll say fuck it all and emerge from this cocoon.
Sorry, I just felt like ranting about how I feel lately. Makes me feel a bit better. If I even made any sense... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I know I'll regret things, but some unknown fear holds me back. I feel like I can't control it. It's frustrating.
Stay focused in what you believe in, your true friends and family will always be there when you are ready. I can relate to you on some level. We are all blessed to be apart of this experiment...not many people know about crypto or steem yet...look at it that way.
I can relate to much of this. I am bad at keeping in touch, and yet I have friends from every time period in my life that I do "check in with". I love having those life long friends.
I also sing, but my nervousness in the first years, even made my voice shake. I had to learn how to fail, before I could comfortably sing with a strong voice.
It's good to talk about it.
Follow the two simple rules and life is easy: