15 pieces of dumb advice unsuccessful people give you. 1/2

in #blog6 years ago (edited)

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The world is filled with people who don't amount to much willing to share with you the recipe for success. You've seen them all around you, they're on facebook, your instagram, they're your best friends or even your family, although they mean well and they might generally have your best interest at heart, the advice they give you is not always the best, not that it's true any fault of their own, they've been fed this misleading quote and pieces of what they consider knowledge ever since they were little and have grown to consider it fact which really does more harm than good.
Fair warning readers, I'm about to tear down all those quotes you've proudly been sharing, so if you're easily offended guess what, the world doesn't care and we don't either. For those of you still reading, everything should be taken with a grain of salt, there are no universal truths and everything is questionable. The meaning and application of these changes based on your situation, your environment, your upbringing, and yes, even your race, religion and mindset. With that said, here are fifteen pieces of generally acceptable dumb advice I've noticed floating around.

  • Be yourself

This is the worse advice you can give some people, what the hell does it even mean. You shouldn't be yourself, you should always try to be the best possible version of yourself which is totally different. Before anything else, you need to find yourself, this takes time and a ton of effort. You need to be aware of what makes you, you, what makes you happy, what doesn't, what are your passions, what are your goals, what are your expectations in life, what is your current reality and what do you want your future reality to be like. Just saying be yourself assumes that one is enough just as one is and the world should not only accept your current state but somehow reward you for it. Once you find who you are really and who you want to be, be that.

  • If you work hard you can achieve anything

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If hardwork was the only factor when it comes to success, the world would be run by coal miners or the people hunting crabs on that TV show. Hard work is important but sorry to say this, it isn't enough, in order to be successful in life, you need to master a variety of skills, you need a certain level of education regarding your field, you need to have strong social skills, you need to have an edge or a competitive advantage, a strong but achievable goal, good managerial skills, and the ability to adapt to ever changing situations, once you have all that, hard work comes into play. Blindly following the mantra if hard work would get you anything will help you move forward but it gives you no direction, most of the time being smart about it would yield a way better result in the long run.

  • What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger

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Really? What doesn't kill you may leave you paralyzed for life, barely alive. Not only could it ruin your life but it could affect the lives of those around you. By this people usually mean that failure should not stop you from trying again, but please remember that although your desire might be unlimited, your finances, the years you have in your life , your physical body and the stress levels you can endure are limited. You only get a couple of shots in your life, so you might want again, to be smart about it. Why put yourself in a situation that might metaphorically kill you, when you can do better. People who say this are week and point out what lessons you should learn from the disasters that happened in your life because they're not the ones dealing with it first hand. You'll never hear someone who lost a child tell another couple who's been through the same tragedy, that they're now stronger.

  • Everything happens for a reason

What a load of bullshit, people who say this have it completely backwards, things don't just happen, things happen because you or an external force makes them happen, it's physics. Once you understand cause and effect, you'd stop looking for meaning in every single thing. Life is chaos, we live in a world that we ourselves as a species created and over a long period of time, we've added rules, built structures, developed cultures, myths and ways of doing things. Unfortunately, this is not what most people want to hear, the world doesn't care about you as an individual unless you make it care. The world can go on just fine without you, even the mightiest individuals could have been replaced and the earth will still keep on spinning. Do you understand how selfish and self centered you have to be to think that on the planet of almost 7 billion people, somehow you've been born under a special star and there's a special oath for you, I'm sorry to burst your bubble but that's not the case. That's what Hollywood did to you, everyone thinks that they are the lead in a movie and they're just the extras, that's OK, you can live a happy and fulfilling life as an extra, but if you're tired of being an extra, start writing a good script and make it a good one.

  • Just wait and let love happen to you

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Oh please, this needs to stop, I'm tired of people who refuse to leave their homes complaining about not meeting that special someone. I've got news for you, unless he or she is the one delivering the pizza to your doorstep, it's not going to happen. But vwovwe, it's not that I'm not open to meeting new people, it's just that I have such high standards that nobody meets them and I just don't want to settle. Let me drop some knowledge on you, if everyone around you is below your standards, you're either in the wrong place or you're in the right place but don't just know it. Do you know how many women say they're holding off for a guy who is at least six feet tall, has a brand new car and a cool penthouse apartment, is super successful, loves dogs and has a six pack while they themselves only bring shitty sportify playlist and some student debt to the table, come on ladies, smarten up, that applies to guys also, stop thinking that you're going to bang a Victoria Secret model, when you still work as a waiter, let me break this down for you, just listen up because this might change your life, you can't have high expectations for someone else without having them at least as high about yourself. You want to date someone with great shape, get in shape yourself, you want to date someone who is successful, become succesful yourself. Experiment, get out, try new things, meet new people, otherwise at some point you'd just have to settle for whatever is available.

  • Do what you love

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If there is one piece of advice people like to give, it's oh, just so what you love. This is terrible advice at least earlier on in your live or career, and let me explain why. Early on, you shouldn't do what you love, you should do what gets you paid. If you're passionate about painting and you feel that this is what makes you complete, that's awesome , you've got a great hobby. Early on, you'd find yourself in a position, having to pay rent, get a mortgage, fill up the gas tank in your car and suddenly your passion isn't enough. Don't get me wrong, it is very important to know what makes you complete what your passion are and what would make you happy, but in order to make that possible, you need two things; first, take care of the basics, that means to no longer have to worry about your existence, your bills are taken care of, and your family is taken care of. The last thing you want to do is for your child to be hospitalized and you trying to pay for his hospitalization with mud clay pots, because that's what you're into. Like it or not, the world runs on money, get enough of it and you're safe.

Second thing is, you need resources to put into your passion to see it return greater than it just makes you feel good. When I say resources, I'm talking about both money and time. If your passion is music and you want to put this passion of yours to work, then you need both the time to study and practice, along with enough money to buy yourself the gear, and all these is needed. Believe it or not, passions are expensive, it seems today that every business ask their workers to be passionate about whatever it is they're doing, but that takes away from the merits of actual hardworking, how can someone be passionate about carpet cleaning. You can do what you love but you've got to do a lot of other things before you can reach that point if you want to be successful.

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@vwovwe my brother, you just nailed it here! Funny enough, I am guilty of one of them. I know someone is already itching to know which one.....lolz...well, it is my personal shit, I WILL DEAL WITH IT! Keep doing what you do bro.................see you at the top!

Resteemed!

Wow, this is one hell of myth bursting @vwovwe.

Hello! I find your post valuable for the wafrica community! Thanks for the great post! @wafrica is now following you! ALWAYs follow @wafrica and use the wafrica tag!

You good writer brother..
Greeting!

Be yourself ...
I so hate this one 😧😧

Before anything else, you need to find yourself, this takes time and a ton of effort.
Abeg i need help pon this wan 😭
Its nor coming .. i got lost finding myself 😒😒

I love this .... resteeming.

Lolz......😁😁😁
You couldn't have put this any better @vwovwe. This are just dumb advices that come from a whole bunch of "who-knows" people. Great piece, mate.

@vwovwe bro this wonderful and a serious issue to look into. Great writer , keep it up.

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