Most of you would have heard of the introvert-extrovert personality theories. It is difficult to blanket large groups of people under specific groups and it isn’t something which can be slapped as a label on someone without many factors being taken into consideration.

We are creatures of habit and most of us have personality traits and characteristics which are reoccurring and habitual. You may show signs of being both an extrovert and an introvert but through self-reflection and self-awareness you will notice one is more dominant than the other.

A little way that has helped me with deciphering this is whether or not being around large groups of people, and participating in social interactions GIVE you energy or TAKE AWAY your energy.

How do you enjoy spending your down time? More so surrounded by other people? Or more so by being alone just chilling out?

If social activities tend to take away your energy and you’d rather spend a larger portion of your free time by yourself, you most likely sway towards having an introverted personality.

It is neither a positive or negative thing being more extroverted or introverted, but with each personality type comes with it both negative and positive characteristics.

Having this knowledge of your introversion (or knowing someone who is more introverted) there is also something which tends to arise with introversion, which is the notion of self-pity.

Having an introverted personality means that you are in your head quite a bit, and with that you have minimal distractions from the outside world and can be caught and drawn into yourself.

This can be an amazing gift, and also can be extremely self-defeating. When thoughts are positive and constructive they have the ability to shift your life into a path of happiness. When your thoughts are negative, the opposite is true and you can drive yourself into a path of self-hatred.

The first step is recognising the signs of when you start to slip into bad thought patterns which lead to other self-destructive behaviours.

Something goes wrong at work and you think

“OMG I’m so stupid! Look at me, everyone thinks I’m an idiot”,

You dwell on that thought before bed. You wake up the next morning; you spill coffee over your shirt before work. Another thought creeps in

"My life is so sh**!"

One negative thought after the next. You spend the weekend alone; your negative thoughts escalate and escalate until in your head you have a sad story about yourself.

Sound familiar?

The key is to recognise then CHANGE those thoughts and actions. You have the ability to react to situations in any way you want.

Speak out loud to yourself.

Would you speak to someone else in the way you speak to yourself? How would you react if someone spoke down to you the way you speak to yourself? I’m sure you wouldn’t let such abuse pass.

So why is okay for you to speak to yourself that way?

There are millions, no, BILLIONS of things you could be saying to yourself and you choose something so horrible.

Change your voice.

Bad thoughts out, positive thoughts in.

Use your mind for good.

Having an introverted personality means you need more down time to yourself. But too much time alone can be a damaging thing.

How many times have you been sitting and dwelling in your own worries and doubts and gone and seen a friend or had to help someone else and BOOM! You forget about feeling sorry for yourself and it’s not all about you anymore.

Of course alone time is vital for re-generation but be sure to be using that time for a positive use, not to further the hole that you are digging for yourself.

Now of course this may not apply to everyone who has an introverted personality and it may even apply to some of you with an extroverted personality or may just be recognisable in someone you know. It is very difficult to blanket large groups of people; however it may act as a method of awareness for some.

Recognising characteristics and personality traits you have which lead to certain behaviours can help you immensely. You may not have realised you slip into patterns of self-pity until it’s too late and you cannot figure out how or why you are feeling the way you are.

Remember you have the ability to first recognise your thoughts and actions, then change them, then get out and do something. Imagine what life could be like if you loved yourself every day and spoke to yourself as if you did?

- viazenar

For more self-development articles, original poetry & quotes please follow @viazenar

(Image: Unknown Artist)