Hello everyone,
make a big cup of coffee (since I can't drink it) and let's dive in today's subject. I haven't been writing much these past months and there is a (good?) reason for it - I got pregnant!

For someone who has been told from the age of 14 that it's impossible to have children this came as a bit of surprise to me. This state of amazement lasted through out my first trimester and since I'm almost six months in right now, I think this is the perfect opportunity to honestly and with fresh memory of it - talk about my experience!

I don't have any belly showing yet, so pexels will do for now

Source

So, yes I was told by four different doctors that it would be hard if even possible to have children (the natural way). I have been living with that idea for over 15 years and honestly it never bothered me too much. I knew I had options like IVF or adoption.

Before our honeymoon I went for a annual OBGYN check up, convinced that I was PMS-ing hard! I was dead wrong and all my PMS symptoms were actually pregnancy related. I didn't believe the doctor and even said something along the lines:

"I know my body best, I'm not pregnant"

She laughed and said see you soon!

The thing is I didn't feel pregnant in that first month, we went on our holiday, walked around for miles and I had no clue what was waiting around the corner. But as soon as I entered the second month of pregnancy it all hit me so much so that I was angry at every story I ever heard about how pregnancy is beautiful and you "glow" from with in.

Food

Nausea and "morning sickness" are represented as slight symptoms that occur in the morning and after that you are able to function as usual. Wrong! Morning sickness is a WHOLE DAY THING. I was sick all the time, especially in the evening. Your sense of smell is so sensitive that even the slightest smell can make you (projectile) vomit.

There was no reason for me to cut out certain food, my body did that for me. I suddenly couldn't drink coffee anymore, alcohol was to stinky to be in the same room in let alone drink it (not that I would).

Source

I lived on almonds, lemons, water and ginger cookies. Some salads were ok, but nothing heavy, sweet or too spicy (wery interesting diet, you have to agree).

Bonus tip: Eat light meals every two hours and wait for it to pass, because nothing really helps.

Body

Here is where it becomes interesting, you don't look pregnant, you have no idea what pregnancy even means yet, but somehow your body knows exactly what to do. This kept me entertained as I stood over my toilet bowl for the fifth time that day.

For some reason I thought that pregnant women had stronger immune response (wrong, again). Your immune system is actually weakened on purpose, so that you don't reject newly formed baby. Beside being sick all the time, I assume because the body is fighting whit this new addition, you are tired all the time.

All the time means every moment that you are not sleeping and that's a good thing (?!) because it means that you are producing enough hormones (progesterone to be exact) and your baby is safe. I was really impressed by this technology that makes you rest a bit more than you would. As it turned out those first three months are the most important for development, and all (baby) organs are made by the end of it.

Another lovely thing is that everything hurts a bit, from your tummy to your "girls", head and sometimes hips. All you can hear about that is that it is normal and you can't really do anything about it. But you should make time to "glow" :D

Mind

This was by far the hardest thing for me to cope with! The initial shock that you are pregnant lasts for a long time, but even after that goes away and the idea that your life is about to change completely sinks in, your IQ and concentration are for some reason gone!

Source

Where did my brain go? Did I left it in Spain? Did the baby take it all away? I don't know. All I know from this point of view is that I wasn't able to work, read or have a normal conversation. So much so, that my husband had to explain why some joke was funny (can you imagine that). This was so frustrating for me, even more than being sick all the time.

On the plus side

• You will hear the baby's heart beat for the first time (on the ultrasound) and there is nothing that comes even close to happiness that you feel in that moment.
• Everything is forgiven! People are very patient with hormonal pregnant women and we appreciate it!
• Your hair and nails will grow like crazy, not a big thing like the heart beat, but you really need every positive aspect that you can get!

Final thoughts

Like every big transformation in life, this one also requires some "growth pains" and by the end of my first trimester I came to terms with it. I learned what to eat to minimize the sickness, I rested a lot during the day and all in all I started listening to my body more. If I felt sleepy I went to bed, if something was making me nauseous I wouldn't eat it. Everything was happening for a reason.

I must add that I was fortunate enough that I could take a brake from my job and that meant the world to me. Concentration came back slowly but surely and now I know that my brain was protecting me from stress in that way. You can't really get mad at someone/something if you don't even get the situation :)

A big disclaimer: This was my own experience, not a bad one but honest one! I would have preferred that someone said those things to me so that I wouldn't feel almost guilty for not enjoying my pregnancy more.

At the end of the day it's a BEAUTIFUL thing and be sure to follow for more information on gender, check up's and brutal honesty!

With love,
Tamara