@steemed-open Your topsy-turvy emotions are not restricted to you alone. We all go through them, especially in moments of uncertainty, of confusion, of despair.
But your response is in the right direct - to pause and witness, to wait and listen, to awake and internalise all that make up the past, the present and indeed, the future!
A constant and regular deep-seated raciocination brings about the solution because once the mind can detach itself from the body it sees clearly the path to take.
Keep going, @steemed-open, in the direction of your purpose.