Paper Bau Mongla Autobiography: part 1

Daliya Jahan address, Rudra's letter is coming regularly. Sometimes from Mongla or Mithakhali, sometimes from Dhaka. How to get rid of the letter of Rudra's letter in the heart of the chest. The day the chit gets, an amal joy surrounds me all day long.

You are not able to understand how sad a moment you are now. You do not want to understand the chaos and unrestrained my days without you. I know, there are many problems, when you get to the moment, thousands of problems will be waking up. Nevertheless, these problems will not save us. Therefore, the problem that one has to face once or a day, should be brought forward. And the problem can not be solved by hiding. That is why I wanted to meet Dada. We wanted to let you know that we did not hear it. You are very happy to throw my days and nights into disorder and irregularities. Your goodness in this lacklessness makes me very envious. I can not. I can not compromise myself in any way.

Every day the sky does not rain like clouds in the sky. You go without a day, the night goes away. This cold desert without touching you .... I do not see you! How long do not I regret your shouting! Your eyes are very foggy, very cloudy and very distant. When I cross the fog and touch you! When I understand the meaning of that cloud! I'm tired of waiting. Do not wait and wait. No favorite touch, days are dead. No favorite touch, the nights are cool and tidy! When will you come to heat this cold air? Today the mind is not good, the solitude and the very calm troubles have accumulated inside my chest all day. I can not explain these difficulties in a language. Heaveny, cold and calm like clouds are my trouble, today my mind is not good. Today is very cold trouble.

I try to realize the problems of Rudra. But it is not possible to give it to my wish. Rudra says about her husband's demand, say that I can not say myself to someone by saying that I have married in the house. I can not say that is also possible. It can not be pronounced by anybody, that I am getting married to a housewife. If Rudra thinks of marriage, the father will give us a warm marriage, then I will go to the house with Rudra, if I leave home or Rudra will stay home or if she drives me out of the house, then I will continue my studies from the hostel, in Dhaka, near Rudra. Or transfer from this college to other colleges, so that I can do business with him, can go to college or anything else Or was subsequently studied. Rudra is not crazy for the family but I am. Rudra is a big uncertainty in life, then one more point of my heart does not dare to welcome uncertainty.