My Journey through 3 Weeks Of Constipation - How I Finally Unleashed The Hounds Of Browns

So this is my journey of how I went from being plugged up like Scrooge McDuck's piggybank, to finally shattin' a big ole steamer that clogged the toilet for at least a full day.

Week #1:

I hadn't shat in a few days and I was starting to feel very meh..... it quickly turned into a week and then I started going from meh to this.....

Tried to drink more water, eat some raisin bran... nothing was working... I guess my normal diet of cheese and ice cream had done a number on my internal shit-subway-system.

Week #2:

Nothing was working... laxatives and drinking lots of water? Nope... Raisin Bran or lots of vegetables? Hell no, nothing...
I was getting a bit panicky and by this time my stomach was starting to ache.

'Starting to ache' is a bit of an understatement. I started to feel like I had just told Mike Tyson that he talks like a pussy and then ate the brunt of an 'Iron Mike' Uppercut to my abdomen. Shit was getting dire... I used some of those little glycerin plugs that you push up your ass and they did nada. Zilch.

That's when I started to get delirious... I took a vaccum pump thing that looked like a mixture of a turkey baster and a gas syphon that you would use on an old car to suck out the gas. Nothing happened except some mild lacerations on the anus. The future was bleak.

Week #3

SUCCESSSSSSSS! TOTALLY TRUE STORY HERE FOLKS.... THIS little magic plastic container of unicorn dust magic or whatever the hell is in here, oh... it is a special kind of magnesium...

Still... magic doesn't even begin to explain what this stuff performed.

I had never used anything like this... it's a special kind of magnesium, (not to be taken like a supplement, but only when needed for an amazing ass-explosion) and boy does it work... I was shooting shit out of my ass like Storm from X-Men hurling lightning bolts.

So... case in point... if you ever can't shit and have a more-than-sluggish, a lazy as fuck colon like me.... give this stuff a try! I got it on Amazon and I will definitely be giving this thing a shining review!

Hope you enjoyed my true story.