Facing yourself nude.

Usually we are alone when we face our naked bodies, or at times we may show our naked bodies to the ones we love the dearest. What happens when we share our nakedness to a stranger? What feelings does it invoke? How do we see ourselves during and after the process?

A year ago I decided to sign up for a nude shoot, called the Human Form Project. When the date came around I called in to reschedule because I felt utterly disgusted with my body.
I stood in the mirror and started yelling at my partner about all the parts of my body that I could not stand.
I could not live bare to live in my own skin.
Was this because I was genuinely ugly or because society had told me I wasn't the beauty standard.

When the date came around the second time I forced myself to go, because I could not cancel again.
When I arrived the photographer was very kind and respected any boundaries I had.
As I undressed I felt all of my insecurities rush to my thoughts.
They circled around me, making it impossible to move.
I thought about all the people I knew that could see these pictures. I wonder if they saw my body the same way I saw mine. I wonder if they see all the extra weight I carry.
As I stayed nude it became more comfortable, I started to feel empowered instead of scared. I started to move and as I moved I started to feel free. As I began to get in touch with my body I began to have more respect for it.
When the photographer showed the photos I saw my body as something beautiful, something sacred.
After the shoot I went home on a high something changed in my perspective. I am forever thankful for the experience and have a complete change in self worth and body image.
I still get nude for the camera and at times I do look down at my body but I have made peace with the way it is now and will love it through every stage.

This photo is from the photoshoot. I did not take this photo. Credit goes to https://gioklik.com/