So I was eating lunch at Toppings Tree my friends two days ago, and for some reason they gave us fortune cookies when we paid the bill, even though it was more of a Filipino restaurant than a Chinese one. Then again fortune cookies aren't Chinese anyhow — they were invented in the US. Anyways, I had this brilliant idea: what if next time you opened a fortune cookie, instead of a nice and friendly message you got something more sinister. Here's a list of "misfortunes" we came up with immediately:
- Today is a very bad day to go outside
- You can't save them.
- All shall return to dust.
- You are not your own light.
- They would like you more if you were someone else.
- You will not die the way you think.
- Nothing will ever truly satisfy you.
- Don't look behind you.
- There is no God.
- Please don't throw me away. I don't want to die.
- Don't do it.
- If you never existed in the first place, would anyone notice or care?
- Help I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory
- Time and chance overtake us all.
- Why are you so sad?
- Watch your step. Death may lurk anywhere.
- The sun shall swallow the earth.
- Yes, they are cheating.
- Your life is over.
Like all great (and terrible) business ideas I ever have, this one was already taken. There are quite a few companies who have tried to market the ideas of fortune cookies with mean messages instead of nice ones. The most successful brand I found was Petchkeks:
One of their promotional images
I really like their design, with the black paper in the black cookies — it's something that didn't even occur to me. Who knows, maybe I'll buy them as a gift for one of my friends sometime. Not too often though. Cynicism is funny in moderation but after a while its just sad and depressing.
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I haven't posted in a while because I've been busy and the stuff I've been writing for class this quarter wouldn't make any sense to post here. I don't really feel like mining my old writing for gems either. So, don't expect regular posts or anything. I'm still trying to figure out what I'm doing with this account