Its not as easy as blokes think.

in blog •  6 months ago

I'll admit it I'm a typical guy or at least was when it came to my idea of what it meant to be a stay at home mum, I had agreed with my mates when they commented about how easy life must be for their wifes at home all day just having fun with a kids, I mean how hard could it be.

That was until I became a stay at home dad and before I go much further let me just say to any full parent well done and congratulations.

It's Strange.

I know the world is changing and there are more and more fulltime dads in the world but among my friends and colleges not one of them has had or taken the opportunity to cement a bond with their child, from the moment I informed my mostly male superiors that I would be taking parental leave for six months there was a resistance hadn't seen when my female staff had taken the same leave.

Ok, so I was still granted the leave but it didn't feel particularly gracious.

Planning Ahead

Don't get me wrong I'm not doing it all by myself, my wife and I have just recently adopted our first child (probably our only) it was a long process you can read some of it here because it was such a long process my wife and me where able to save and plan a strategy that has allowed me to say at home full time for the first six months with paid parental leave and for my wife to be able to work three days a week.

No Body warns you

Toddlers can either best be described as wither tiny drunk assholes or charismatic psychopaths, they have zero impulse control, zero understanding of boundaries, and I'm pretty sure that they have no concept of anything outside themselves.

They throw tantrums to be picked up and then throw tantrums to be put right back down and then repeat the process, their possessiveness of anything they put their hands on borders on obsessive and when you're certain that they have learned the meaning of the word no they will look you dead in the eyes and proceed to ignore it often giving you a smirk as they do.

It's a good thing they are cute.

Thana boot walk_1.gif

Honestly, I think its entirely likely that their cuteness and smiles, and sweet laughter are evolutionary tricks to ensure that parents don't murder them.

Every day our little man a freshly adopted 16-month-old Thai boy come more and more out of his shell every day and every day I'm blessed to get to see him learn new things, copy a bunch of things dad does, starting to work his tongue around new words despite only hearing English for the first time just over a month ago.

Above I said that being a fulltime parent was heaps more work than I thought it would be but the truth its amazing, and rewarding and staying at home with him is much better than being at work.

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I wish I could be a stay at home dad. I truly enjoy the daily routine and finding ways to entertain the children while trying focus on what they need educational wise.
The house is always clean when get the chance to stay at home and I even have the children helping out around the home.
The best part is movie time where we get the popcorn out and argue for an hour on what we are watching.
This is a great post on reflection and more and more dads are beginning to stay at home while their partner works.

Congratulations on the new kiddie! Being a parent is seriously tiring, we had an essay run with the first one.. But the second is a bit of a different kettle of fish. Currently going though a bad sleeping phase. I'm lucky I'm on tour at the moment and able to recover some much needed sleeping time!

But I do know the cost on my wife who is alone and we live far away from grandparents...

your post is very good I like your post
by. @dewa123

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The first stay home dad I saw was my older brother. When he told us seventeen years ago that he was going to drop his job and stay home to raise his daughter in order to allow his wife to continue her career, everyone's jaw dropped. It was unheard of! As far as I know he was probably the first guy to have ever filed a paternity leave in the country at that time.
Leaving that aside, I am glad you are enjoying your time bonding with your son!