Friendship In a New Age - Friendship Relies on Unchanging Love

A friend is someone who accepts who you are, as you are. They love you for being who you are and do not wish for you to change.

Far too often, modern day friendships dissolve and die out because one person starts to do or say things that are disagreeable to their friend. The friend then pulls away because the new developments shatter their image of that person, and an expectation for them to change emerges. This expectation inevitably is repeatedly not met, leading to disappointment and discontentment, which ultimately leads to the death of the relationship.

If we are to build true and lasting friendships with the people whom we call our friends, friendships which develop from authenticity and openness, we cannot chide our friends for the things that they do or say, and expect them not to say or do those things anymore. Yes, express your reaction to their disagreeable actions, but do so from a place of love, and approach the situation with a desire to understand why the person you had held in such high esteem could possibly do or say something so off-putting. This is increasingly important in the extremely divisive and emotionally charged political climate of today, where it is becoming more common for people who have been the best of friends for years to suddenly end the relationship abruptly over some petty differences such as political beliefs or which candidate they supported in the election.

We must strive to remember that our friend's political stances do not define who they are as a person. Even when they support things that we deem to be deplorable, we cannot afford to let that destroy our love for our friend. In times of differences of opinions, or even disagreeable conduct, we must remember that they are our friend, and that we love and support them, warts and all. After all, if we choose to only surround ourselves with people who think and act exactly like we do all the time, we are not surrounding ourselves with friends, we are surrounding ourselves with mirrors. Fragile mirrors which can be shattered in an instant at the slightest change of course.

True friends are not mere reflections of who we are. Yes, friends will have many things in common; in fact, it is the shared tastes, opinions, and experiences which lead us to want certain people as our friends. However, once the similarities are established, we must not let the bond we are building break so easily over a few petty differences of opinion. If we truly wish to build strong and lasting relationships with our friends, we cannot run away at the first sign of trouble. We must learn to cherish those differences that emerge over the course of the friendship, for those differences present us with new experiences, new stimuli, and that in itself enriches our lives further.

That is why we must love our friends as they are, because in being themselves, they are enriching our own lives by exposing us to new and different things. The ultimate beauty of true friendship is that we can love our friend for who they are regardless of how different they are from our own self. Life becomes a much more beautiful experience when we realize that we can still foster a deep love for someone who holds such different beliefs than us. If true and lasting friendship is what we seek, then we must allow our friend to be exactly who he is, and we must love that person. We cannot develop a strong relationship if we only love our own projection of how that friend should be.

A true friend will be authentic with you, and will love you for your own authenticity with him. Friendship In a New Age means loving your friend no matter what differences emerge between the two of you over the course of the relationship.