Complaining

Do you complain a lot?

Do you know someone that complains a lot?

I’m pretty sure we can all say ‘yes’ to the second question, at least.

Complaining is one of those things that we can easily slide into without realizing it. You know when you start speaking negative about something and you dive deep into it? Complaining. Or, you list off reasons why you shouldn’t have to do something? Complaining. Or you’re just being the worst and saying everything is awful because you’re selfish and rude. Complaining complainer.

Everyone does it. We ALL have complained about something.
It’s just a matter of whether or not you let yourself go on and on about it and make others miserable.

But, what about venting? I think if you find someone you can trust to talk to and aren’t gossiping about others, then you can ‘complain’ in an appropriate way to let out your frustrations. Maybe someone is really bothering you and you have to get it off your chest. What if they changed a policy or rule at work and it bothers you enough to need to chat with someone about it? With a trust worthy buddy, you can safely talk to someone about it, privately, and vent. I totally believe it’s healthy to vent.

You need to talk things through sometimes and be able to let it go afterwards. Just be smart about it. If you need to talk with someone about another’s behavior, make sure you aren’t bashing them. Express your issues, but keep it neutral.

Don’t let your emotions take over your words.

I try really hard not to complain.
Like, when I am thinking about something negative and feel the need to share it with someone, I review it in my mind first.
For reals.
I overthink most things, which is just part of my perfectionism, but it kind of comes in handy in this case. You can decide before you open your mouth whether that would be the best option. Maybe we will talk about thinking before speaking on another post. But, it’s really important to consider this, because it could prevent you from complaining. Or, at least limit it.

Also, try to think about something positive when you feel the ‘urge’ to complain. If you’re complaining about not having something or someone else having a thing you’re coveting, find something you’re grateful for. Honestly, we all should be doing this every day, despite how cheesy it sounds. Further, stop complaining and see if you can work for whatever thing you feel you lack.

If your complaining is about someone else’s behavior, think about their positive traits and why their actions bother you. If it’s legit-ly them being awful to others or doing something wrong, find a way to tell them about it, without being rude. If it’s just a pet peeve, you could still chat with them about it or just drop it. Make a choice and move on with your life.

Lastly, complaining is a bad habit. It’s also an epidemic. You’ll find it everywhere and it catches faster than a cold. Be aware of the people around you and how they act. Even if a group of people are complaining together, it doesn’t mean you need to join. There’s a difference between talking about what’s wrong with a situation and how to fix it, and just plain whining about it.

I’m not saying you’re a bad person or even judging you if you complain, I just think we need to avoid it, if possible.

I’m not perfect, I do complain sometimes. But I don’t feel better afterwards. Think about that.

Do you feel better after you complain? I doubt it.

Until next time, friends! –the RealPositiveGirl