Taking Responsibility Part 5

in #blog6 years ago

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Taking Responsibility Part 5

So, I have had two weeks off Steemit. And even I am not quite sure why or how that happened!

I think that I was just in a massive rebellion against my chosen path.

Sometimes I work at cross-purposes to my own self. I get scared; I get bored; I get distracted; I forget.

Well actually, I choose those outcomes, obviously. :-) (Taking Responsibility, remember?)

So let's break it down and look at what happened; why; and what to do about it.

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My 'Why' Must Exceed My 'Nope'

I'll post more about this in an upcoming 'Taking Responsibility' but essentially my reason for doing something has to be strong enough to keep me going as I encounter the inevitable obstacles and desire to quit on myself for an easier life.

How this manifests itself is that I really want to do something - I might even tell other people that I want to do something - and then I spend an appreciable amount of time doing something else, perhaps even the opposite of what I said I wanted.

What I can do about this is:

  • get better at spotting when I drift from my aim
  • track my progress towards goals using some form of accountability
  • plan and schedule time to work specifically on this goal

If I do those three things, it takes the thinking out of the task and makes it easier for me to Just Do It.

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Own My Own Fear

I get daunted, intimidated, doubtful, fearful and sometimes downright scared. I'm here to tell myself that this is all OK and to just keep going and Just Do It anyway.

How this manifests is that I doubt myself and go through a lot of negative self-talk about this being too much, too difficult, too complicated etc. Or doubting my own abilities to do the things required to get to the goal; doubting my ability to remember to work on progressing towards this goal.

What I can do about it is:

  • Acknowledge that I am afraid, and talk to myself about my fear. Own it.
  • Change the conversation that I have with myself from being negative (how I can't, won't, shouldn't do it) into positive (how I can, will, and should do it). Often this begins by my simply asking myself 'How can I do x?' and listening to the answers I start to tell myself.
  • Use accountability and tracking to remind myself to take action towards the goal.

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Accept Assistance

I'm a teacher in my day job. I teach hundreds of children each day and I am trained to look out for and respond to students who show signs of needing encouragement or accountability in order to achieve their current goal. So naturally I think that I must be able to do this for myself all of the time, even though I work with people on a daily basis who prove this notion wrong time and time again.

How this manifests itself is that I tell myself that I don't need the help that I teach to others because I must know how to do it for myself if I can teach it to others.

What I can do about this is:

  • Realise that I can't see myself. One of the reasons that I can help my students is that I can observe them and see the things that they cannot see about themselves.
  • Get assistance. I need someone who can observe me and advise me about how I can improve towards my goals and aims.
  • Get over myself and my inhibitions about being coached. I really need to stop worrying about being good enough and just get out there and start doing it so that I can improve with feedback. And ditch the ideas about looking amateurish if I have a coach and don't invent everything by myself. Even the best tennis players for example hire and use coaches. Even when they are at the top of their game, they still employ coaches who specialise in each area of the serve and their game.

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So there you have it, my tentative steps towards a bit more of the essential self-knowledge and self-awareness that I am looking for so that I can reach my goals.

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My 'Why' Must Exceed My 'Nope'

LOVE this. So deceptively simple, but always true.

...simply asking myself 'How can I do x?' and listening to the answers I start to tell myself.

YESSSS!!! Between both your real, 3D conscious and subconscious minds and the more esoteric guardian angel etc assistance, you have 24/7/365 help to always be in balance whilst maintaining what you need to do each day AND expanding on that to reach new goals.

You are doing so well. Your honest self appraisal and integrity serves your family, all the students and others you interact with each day, me and other Steemians and the eternally forward evolution of consciousness itself here on Earth and beyond.

Thank you and Bless you, Paul! Resteemed and FB/tweeted.

It is so hard for me to stay focused. I think I need to take a little reflection time to figure out my next plan of attack. I have a lot of irons in the fire and it can become overwhelming. It sounds like you're on the right track though.

"Too many irons in the fire
Is worse than not having any..."

As the old song goes. It's easy (and I do it all the time) to focus on what I am NOT doing and arrive at a negative, rather than look at what I AM doing and feel positive. For example: I can allow my different interests and goals to clash, resulting in not doing either. That awful feeling of holding back from giving my current action 100% of my focus and effort because I feel conflicted (guilty even) about 'neglecting' something else I feel that I should also be doing, resulting in that double negative of 'I didn't do x and I also didn't go all in on y either'.

The positive take-away is that even one step forward is forward momentum. The fact that in my head I imagine myself already owning a magnificent victory is probably down to my not breaking this thing down into small achievable steps; my impatience; and my not setting and managing my own expectations.

Involving somebody else in the conversation is a great step to take regarding introducing accountability and getting someone else in to help me out by communicating a useful perspective on what I am actually doing (instead of what I think is going on).

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