What is it with men and thrill seeking?
I just heard someone died due to crashing while driving a quad. It leads me to wonder, why?
Why is it that men (or people in general, let's not exclude all women from this) enjoy these kind of activities? And what drives them to go over the top during these activities?
Driving a quad or using other heavy machinery doesn't equal a big chance of dying, I know that. Combined with testosterone and friends or co-workers to impress though, it becomes a different story.
So why is is that men behave like neanderthals when they are in groups? Why do they need to go over the top to impress their peers? Do they have a deathwish, or does some part of their brain just stop working for a while?
It's really hard for me to understand, because I'm pretty sure most people have loved ones and are loved by others. Why risk it all to go over the top? Why risk hurting all your loved ones by taking unnecessary chances?
Now don't give me the "You could die crossing the road" argument. It's about chances here. Your chances of dying while crossing a road (as long as you watch out) are much smaller than you dying, because you cannot control your impulses while thrill seeking.
These kind of things make me afraid for my boyfriend to ever have to drive quads with friends / co-workers or other such things. Luckily he himself tells me that it's mainly dangerous when people go over the top and use these things wrong. This tells me he'll probably watch out, but still...
There are plenty of less dangerous and fun activities around. What's wrong with those? Why are people so stupid?
I don't personally know this person. It happened in my extended circles and it is a horrible thing for him and his loved ones.
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The lowest of the low in IQ are statistically men. Add to this an abundance of testosterone, and you have a perfect storm of recklessness and a lack of ability to direct it safely.
I have a pretty high IQ, but until I got old, I was still pretty reckless ;>
All IQ adds to the equation is we have a better chance of surviving whatever stunt we pull at any given time ;>
It also allows us, upon reflection after staring death right in the eyes, to understand what not to try again.
I think it's on a different spectrum of "action" than aggression
from personal experience; I would do something reckless, get way with, and come away with a positive reinforcement of the experience
I guess I have a different response. I associate the thrill with the post adrenaline induced headache, and visions of being mangled to death. If I understand correctly, the recklessness stems from the aggression, at least in part, most of the time.
exactly!
consider this too. You stated that you have a mild nature; otoh, I am pretty aggressive in some things. While the personality to biology connection hasnt been studied well enough on an individual level, my bet is that the responses you I get differ b/c our systems react to events in some connection with our personality.
Usually, I look at this from a political angle (some folks are personally matched for communal or socialists systems, while others are instinctively hostile to such); but it probably applies to all sorts of situations.
I really don't think humans are as cookie cutter as many scientists seem to think we are
It may have something to do with the formation of this response when I was very young, around four. After having been bitten too many times by rash action, I learned to stop and consider the response that would bring overwhelming victory.
You could be quicker on your feet than I. I like planning, probably too much.
that's a "which came first" question; did failed aggressive actions guide future behavior, or did they fail because you aren't personally suited for aggression (really, not many people are - but attention is focused on those that are aggressive)
Yes! It's so sad, because I'm sure you don't need that much IQ to know you hurt your loved ones if you behave recklessly and get hurt.
Hmm... I can not give comment about that. But know hurting your love one is no need high IQ... yes..! :)
It takes more intelligence than you might think when the testosterone is singing in your ears. I can't even see the left side of the bell curve from where I am, and I'm lucky I'm alive. Testosterone is a hell of a drug, and when your own body makes an excess of it, sometimes the mind is only along for the ride.
Hmm, I guess I should be glad I don't have an excess of that particular drug then! I guess us women have enough to deal with Riding the dragon (As Bernadette in the Big Bang Theory states it) with oestrogen.
Everyone has challenges, or they end up soft and incapable of dealing with adversity.
True, challenges are good for us :-)
Provided those challenges don't prevent us from having the benefit of continuing to learn.
it's nature. Finding out who's the best. The women will always look for the best. Doesn't matter if your in a group or not, you always wanna prove yourself.
I'm not sure if men who are constantly trying to prove themselves are the best though. I quite like men who have faith in who they are and don't join in on all the approval seeking crap. It makes them look weak to me.
You see it from your perspective. Try seeing it from a losers perspective and also the women who pick douchebags.
"I quite like men who have faith in who they are and don't join in on all the approval seeking crap. "
Therefore you like men who are the best at avoiding approval seeking. That's also a form of being different, better than others.
To be fair, my boyfriend has often told me women like jerks. Actually, the comedy show The IT Crowd also has an episode dedicated to one of the characters pretending to be a jerk, because that's what women are attracted to. Bad boys.
I guess it depends on what stage the woman is on. I've had a complicated boyfriend once. We fit well together, but he struggled with himself. Then I had the approval seeking type of boyfriend. He was so insecure, he constantly needed the attention and approval of his peers to make him feel okay. He was a true eyeopener in showing me what I did not want in a guy. Now I have someone who fits perfectly for me and he is the opposite of the last guy. He is sweet, funny, caring and completely himself, no matter if it's in private or in groups. I guess I like well placed confidence!
I guess many people have to go through a few stages of discovering what works and what doesn't. Maybe most women go through a 'bad boy' phase, before they settle for the sweet and caring guy.
Humans like pushing the boundaries on what's possible .
I remember one time the history about a biker that went to the highway and tried to pass a container truck with his motorcycle using a ramp.
He died with his wife.
So not all ideas are good, and although dumb, thrill seeking is addicting .
Gosh, that is just horrible... I understand wanting to push boundaries to some extend, but I quite prefer pushing boundaries on understanding over boundaries that harm the body.
Sadly most of the people that do this are like that and its not necessarily due to a lack of education. I've met a lot of mountain bikers and thrill seekers and I have been one , its simply addicting at times. It also satisfies the urges of your reptilian brain
I live very close to the neanderthal, so I guess I am competent to answer.
It is not peer pressure. Peer pressure only enhances it potentially.
Maybe the perfect examples are summer bobsleighs (Sommerrodelbahn). A normal rollercoaster is much faster, but in the summer sled you can control the speed and you will have an accident at some point. They are my favorite amusement park rides.
Its the thrill of knowing that if you dont do it right you will get hurt. Personally I blossom under stress, I think its the same thing... It's kinda tough to explain, but I hope you understand what I mean.
I guess I understand, or maybe I should say I know, that this is what makes some people thrive. I'm not sure I could truly understand it myself.
I know I enjoy a rollercoaster ride now and then (though I don't try all of them, because going backwards makes me scared of hurting my neck), but those are fairly safe, compared to things that you have to control yourself.
I think I would be too afraid to lose control to try something like bobsleighs.
Maybe I should compare it to having to troubleshoot an important issue, or to solve a hard question. Fix something important for the business you work for. I know that gets out the best in me.
one thing i forgot to mention: testing your limits is part of it. 🎶Push it to the limit, pass the point of no return...🎶 and of course adrenalin is a hell of the drug :3.
If you want to compare it to work, its when you have a very tight time limit and you will get into trouble if you dont finish in time. At least I get a similar feeling then, not sure if all men would sign that.
There is a great book that goes into this topic, and the psychology behind the confidence thrill seekers feel, why they feel compelled.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30231750-deep-survival
Ooh that's interesting, thanks :-)
We just loves it!
But why! It doesn't make sense! What's wrong with having a few beers at a bar or, if you don't like that kind of stuff, fishing or whatever? Boardgames even! Bah!
It's in the blood. The blood I tells ya!! :0D
Crazy blood! I think you all need some transfusions from well-behaved women to cure you!
That sounds like a saucy offer and a half. Yeah!!! ;0)
Oh we do it when we're all by ourselves too;>
I think the stock answer you get from men is that it's fun; it is kicking death's ass, it is beating the world, it is making your mark.
I think it goes beyond adrenaline rushes (which some women are addicted to, as well)
The lizard brain plays a lot more in our behavior (for women, too ;> ) than modern sensible supposedly rational humans would like to admit.
I had a sports car at one point; while leaving work, I noticed a group of female co-workers standing in the lot. I did not find any of them all that attractive, and I had a slight dislike of most of them (workplace politics sets me on edge). Even so, I revved the engine and squealed the tires w/o even thinking about doing it. As I drove off, I was praying that none of them would take it as a signal LOL
In men, that means competitive drive; when there are no other men to compete with, we compete with nature.
So maybe guys in general don't know why it's fun, but we still find it fun!
Nature aint gonna let up on us just coz we put air-conditioning in our caves ;>
Yeah, I guess modern society grew faster than our brains and instincts had time to catch up! It's funny to read the sports car story, where you say the behaviour isn't really based on attraction or competition at all. It tells me there is even less thought in it than I would expect. It's just a reflex thing.
glad you liked that story ;>
I guess the upside of the situation is that it doesnt take that many men to repopulate society; women are more valuable biologically (which means that women are naturally less likely to pull life risking behavior, and that tendency multiplies after they have kids)
You make good points!
It's still more fun to have the men around aswell, though ;-)
;> and I am going to bet that a lot of woman say out loud, how stupid, but think inside hmmmm
we wouldn't act this way if there wasn't an evolutionary reason for it ;>
Maybe! I'm pretty sure that is less true today than a 1000 years ago though, atleast when these women are looking for a long time commitment.
I can't speak for the other kind of women though!
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