Free time - Two clashing interests

Free time was supposed to mean more energy to spend on a healthy lifestyle. There's a small problem, though.

My job has just ended. I've been home since last week, seeing as I still had some vacation days to spend. In this job, I descended into my second burnout. I might not have been completely over my previous one, though I kind of doubt it.

The first couple of months went quite well. I felt good and energetic and I learned a lot about the company. It wasn't until I realised that the job was not exactly as advertised, that things started to go downhill. I'm not going to get into the details here, as that's not what this post is about. Suffice it to say that reintegrating into a job that didn't fit my needs, knowledge and expertise did not go well.

I haven't rushed into another job, simply because in my current state, I don't feel it would go well. I'm keeping my eyes open and do talk to some recruiters, but for now, I'm in defensive mode. I'm upfront about the fact that I can't work fulltime and I'd rather start something after a couple of months.

So I am now at home. My idea of this was that I'd recharge my batteries and have more time to do the things I get excited about. I'd also have some space to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. I like IT and I like to challenge my brain, but at this particular moment in time, my brain does not want to comply. So maybe I do something different? Something with cooking perhaps.

Whatever it'll be, now's the time to experiment with the interests that I haven't had a lot of time or energy for, previously.

So what are these clashing interests, you ask?

Well my idea was that, being at home this much, I'd have a lot of time to spend on healthy food. I'd have the time to cook great meals for my boyfriend and myself. I'd be able to make healthy lunches and snacks, and so forth and what have you (Yes, totally a The Middle quote).

I'd also have the time to spend on my interests, one of the big ones being baking and making chocolate and such. Can you see where I'm going with this?

Who's going to eat all this unhealthy food that I'm experimenting with?

Tuesday, I wanted to try out white chocolate with filling! It was my very first try and it failed horribly. The taste was quite good, but the chocolate wouldn't come out of the forms completely, meaning there was not enough chocolate to actually cover the entire filling. Sure, we could scoop everything out and eat that, but that's not something you take with you to hand out to other people!

There's also dark chocolate truffles with different kinds of flavors that I want to try out. My boyfriend hates dark chocolate. He's not going to help me eat any of them. I don't visit people every day, nor do I get many visitors myself. So what do I do with all of these truffles?

So far, my main solution to this is to give much of it to my boyfriend, who then brings it to work with him for his co-workers to enjoy. Whenever we visit anyone, I also try to offer my creations to them.

When I make something I actually like, I do eat some of it. I can control myself pretty well in this, but it is not making my goal to eat healthier any easier. I'm not saying I don't generally eat healthy, but I could do better without all of these baked goods and sweets!

I am also not a very social person. I don't know my neighbours and quite frankly, I don't think I want to know most people who live around here. It is not the best of neighbourhoods. So I'm stuck to visits and my boyfriend's co-workers.

Have you ever seen fungus on chocolate?

I have. Granted, it was my home-made chocolate gone horribly wrong and I think the milk that got mostly seperated was to blame for this. It still took a couple of weeks to go bad, though. I just couldn't bring myself to eating it!

Well, I guess I've kind of got things figured out. Hand it out and throw some away. I'm just going to have to accept the fact that some of my creations will not get fully eaten, before going bad. Having a taste myself isn't bad, but don't overeat...

I should probably also stop thinking about chocolate and start challenging myself with breakfast, lunch and dinner! Well, maybe after I try my truffles idea...

Alright, I think I'm done ranting now. I'm okay, I promise. I'm eating healthy enough. Could do with a bit more exercise, though, but that'll get easier once the weather improves. Which is also when I'm planning to pick up my photography more seriously again. Oh, and I'll probably share my couscous recipe soon. It turned out great!

Thanks for reading through my rant of silly troubles. I hope you're having a good day!

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