Foodie quit her job
A month from now, I will officially be jobless.
This was a hard decision to make, but I feel good about it. I've spent two years working my ass off and not taking the time to reflect on my job. Mostly because these were very busy times for my department. I simply didn't have any energy remaining to think about myself ( this was also the reason why I quit blogging).
During the winter, I found myself burned out. My brain and body forced me to stop. I sat home for a couple of months, no energy, hating everything, not wanting to do anything and with plenty of headaches and tiredness as a bonus. Then, slowly, I started to do a few things a day, regaining a little bit of energy and basically, that's where I still am now. Trying to find things that give me energy and trying to fit them into my day without asking too much of myself.
A couple of weeks ago, I had to start work again. An hour a day, two times a week. Headaches started to come after that hour, so I had to make sure to take plenty of rest after. Now, a couple of weeks in, I know I don't want to do this job anymore.
Last week, I had a bad night and just lay awake thinking. I had noticed I could slowly find a small amount of joy in certain activities again. I could think about activities and think to myself "That sounds like fun", or "I think that's a nice challenge and will give me energy". I had gone online and checked a couple of job offerings, just to see what's out there and how I'd react. I found I could be enthousiastic about some of them! Not in the way of "I want to start there now!", but more like it could be a job I could some day see myself doing and enjoying. Thinking about it that night, I still did not feel that way about my current job.
Well, if I'm at that stage where I can feel a small amount of enthousiasm, but it's not happening for my job... then why am I trying to get back to my job?
It's spring now. Better days are coming. I'm spending time in my new, big garden and I feel it helps me to get out of my head, to heal. With these two hours of work every week, I find my energy levels and optimism going down again. I don't want that. Better days are coming. I want to use them the best I can to heal. I can't do that with a job I don't like, while having to constantly justify why I can't spend all of my hours working. Why I'm still sick.
I'm done.
Time to prioritize health over sensibility. Or maybe this is the sensible thing to do. Not in regards to money, but health. Sure, money-wise, quiting one's job is not a smart thing to do. But there is more to life than money, isn't there? We need a certain amount to get by, but thanks to hubby, we have that. Right now, I care more about my health than about expensive things or vacations. Luckily, hubby does too, thank you hubby!
So, I quit my job. All that's left is to do a little teaching for the ones I leave behind, say my goodbyes, hand over my stuff and then... I'm free!
I'll be jobless this summer. I'll have time to heal and to work on my garden. I'll have time to write blogs, but I won't force myself.
I'll just be free.
And who knows? Maybe blogging will help me stay free just a little while longer.
| Redbubble shop | Vida shop | Foodblog | Pinterest |