Soundtrack to my life... Heavy.

I love music. I listen to radio or my playlist more than I watch movies or TV. Sometimes I think about how movies come with soundtracks and throughout the film, song are specially picked and inserted in exact points to create the desired affect on the viewers. I have this thing I do where when I here certain songs that really reach me, I mentally add them to the soundtrack of my life. One of these days I will make an actual playlist.

The song in my head and on my Chromecast right now is Heavy by Linkin Park ft Kiiara.

I have never heard da song that so accurately describes the way I feel almost all the time. I understand my condition and have accepted it. I know that I have an all or nothing mindset and that the tiniest problems weigh heavily on me. Probably about 20 times heavier than it is for the average person. The thing I haven't figured out is how deal it. When the emotion hit, they hit hard and fast and it can be so hard to drive the negativity out of my head. I have been in therapy and taken meds and it remains a struggle. I can't let go. It doesn't help that I grew up holding everything in. I find myself unable to talk to those close to me. They know I have anxiety, but they do not know the full extent of the thoughts swirling around my head. When I try to explain, it's like no one understands.

Anyway, enough of that. Just wanted to share.