Holiday Decorations are Here Again

It's that time of year again, where everywhere you go in America you are bombarded with either Halloween, Thanksgiving or sometimes even Christmas if the store is feeling cheeky enough in September.

I'm not dumb, was just sculpted that way!

I don't mean to be a negative nancy, but with each passing year that I'm alive I start to feel a little bit more put off by the whole holiday season. I think for me, it's the whole commercialism aspect of it.

Check it out! You can scrub yourself with my tongue!

Don't get me wrong, I guess you can't blame companies for trying to make a buck but it seems to get more ridiculous all the time. I remember growing up, you'd go to the supermarket and they would have a row of holiday related items and maybe some banners around the shop. But nowadays, it's as if the entire store is themed.

Wow! I look amazing. Great paint job guys!

One of the things that bugs me the most is the sheer amount of pressure that is put on us to buy gifts. It's not the actual gift giving that bugs me, but the pressure to buy a gift that has some deep meaning to the recipient. I have seen people actually get angry when they receive a gift that they assumed no thought went into.

It generally goes something like this: "Wow! So and so bought me this sweater. They KNOW I hate sweaters. What an asshole! They just don't care about me at all."

Was I brought back to life to be a waiter? This sucks.

There are some gems out there though, like this sign that gave me a good laugh.

Another downside to all this crap is what to do with it the rest of the year. Especially if you don't have an attic! I have a good section of storage space that is being consumed by oversized Christmas wreaths and useless ornaments. I almost wish that there was a shop where you could rent holiday items, and then bring them back afterward. Wait a minute, maybe that's what a receipt is for? But I just can't be that guy.

Ouch! An explosion! How does my face look? Is it bad?

I guess I just wish that there were a way that we could get back to the basics of holidays in this country. Bring it back to being about family, friends and good times. I don't know if it was ever like that, so I should stop making stuff up. But lets make it like that anyway!

Single white male, well dressed, always on time

As Christmas time approaches, I can already feel the pressure mounting. I keep asking Amanda what she wants for Christmas but she won't even give me a hint. She says she wants nothing. _Yeah - Right.

Whenever she wants something, she just goes out and buys it! That puts me in a difficult situation because I suck at reading minds.

Not sure if this is helping anyone to rent the room

I'll have to admit that I've gotten a little bit better at gift giving over the years. I think that in the past I have suffered from analysis paralysis trying to make a decision. Mostly for fear of being hated if I pick the wrong thing. There is a little bit of irony in that. You spend all day buying a gift, then being accused of not caring.

Shakespeare with a pumpkin head. Creative, I guess?

One thing that astounds me about all this crap is the absolute lack of effort that companies put into designing these decorations. I mean, take a look at this garbage:

Is that the best paint job that they could do? It looks like someone painted it, then set it on fire out of disgust,
and then decided to sell it anyway. Oh well, what can you do. They are selling stuff (presumably), I'm not!

I originally was going to post a whole article with random chicken/rooster/turkeys that I saw in the store, but then turned it into a holiday rant. But here are some freebies. Enjoy these stupid looking birds.

Oh, and these chipmunks for whatever reason.

I thank God that Amanda doesn't like to fill the house with all of this junk. I may seem like a stick in the mud, but I really dislike all of it! Anyway, I hope that you enjoyed my rant and that now you love holidays even more. Have a nice day!