my 3 most important people in my life . helpt me to changed it to something better

  in my life a have some people ho has  helped me find my way out am owe them my life

 a think in 2006 a was in bad place a just quit my art school in the middle of the year a was in a psychological hospital. it was in a way the start on the end.  a had just started in Fountainhouse.

 

 >"Fountainhouse is a work meeting place for people whit life challenges 

to to get work  etc and have a good place to go

 its  started in New York in 1948 now its 320 in the world"

 There a meet jack he was a big dud a mix between Santa Claus and a hell angel motorcyclist gray long beard. sadly he is not with us anymore. he was a X bicycle mechanic and he got me my first bike mechanic job.

pixabay

The first seed in the soil 

biking has been a big part of my life this last 15 + years.

 in the same place a meet a different employee Hans. he is  my biggest hero. a now him very well over the years we have meet up outside Fountainhouse to he is my biker buddy back in norway. 

 

sky train its pretty and ugly at the same time.

a think he is the one ho know me best in the world.  he has always been there for me 

 And he fund my psychologist.  Then in February   he told my of a  psychologist ho is working on a different way of  whit the body and focus on  trauma child hood etc.  so a when there she see saved  my darkest time in my life was  Christmas in 2015 and the weeks that followed a was on my end.

 a had given up everything a was very active on self harm and had lots of suicide thoughts. 

then a start going to her.

 Before these a was sure a was just stupid and it was all my fault.   

she opens me up and then the the first time I could see. 

not relevant but again nice and ugly at the same time

a remember the the first time I was at home with mom and dad and a was observed them a remember we where eating and my brother ho is living in my home town was there with his family. my mom had made a soup am brother had made  pancakes but he did not taste here soup he was trying to eat but he has 2 small kids. 

So not easy. but my mom was heart broken over this fact she was almost crying  then got mad for some recon acting like a kid. so made so much sens to me when a was a kid and she was thinking she did something wrong then putting all the blame on me its not me is her.

but now a can see.  

yesterday day a got and email from here and even it she is 6000 km away  

she is helping me. its just so nice to get the reminder slow and steady wins the race

 >Hi,
It's ok to have a 3-week (freeze) response, or depression as you write.It can be a post-reaction, on many things like: stress, pressure or something that you've done before much of or before little.Finding a balance in life is not simple, the most important is your breath, you get started when you cycle, get hot and sweaty. Then aperture opens.You know that you can only contact with when you want and we can take a little regulation on Skype or face time, just contact.Fine that you are looking for various jobs, think it's good to socialize, get out of the bubble.Do not push yourself to make it, without making it playful

from youtube
 

ist  funny and very true 

The  list

• 1. my breathe exercises 5 min every day. yes
• 2. 5 object, sounds, feelings  yes
• 4. The wooooohoooo... yes
• 5. The color blue yes
• 6. T.R.E "Tension and Trauma Release" 3 times a week. 10 min  
• 7.  in the weekend and next week wash my apartment in progress 30% done
• 8. Monday get my social security nr done :)
• 9.bike riding 2 times a week. and always go out of the flat one time a day if its just fore 5 min  yes ;) just got back
• 10. submit applications to work at this moment is do not matter where it is but i have to have a reason to get out of my flat and a way to meet human beings. and as a bonus get money out of it. yes  a super nice bike shop
• 11. be social once a week  yes a meet my steemit friend yesterday

 

So 50%   rainbow and unicorns  to day