Mobbs' Memoirs 3: The Time I lived with 2 gay people, a drug addict and a Pedophile.

The Pedofinder General

This post marks the last day I'm taking a break from science posts and will be returning to my usual animal/space/digest/laser thing that I do, plus this and whatever else I feel like.

So back in 2006 the Dad half of my family was like 'look, kid, we ain't got nuttin' here, but cuz we gots family in the filipines, we can live there like kings forever. You can come with us and enjoy royalty for years to come, OR you can survive by yourself and further your education. Either way, we're outta here'.

So I'm like 'you be trippin' foo', see ya later'. That's how I remember it anyway, and so in 2006 I went to Uni to study music. This was cool because having my dad leave like that meant I got a whole bunch of free money from the government as well as the full possible loans so I essentially lived for free for 3 years.

The downside is I literally had no home, so every time I went back to my hometown, I'd spend Christmas with my friend and his family and summertime on my two friends' sofa. Kind of a drag but I was independent and free, which was the best outcome ever and I could never look back.

Anyway, stuff happened and suddenly I graduated and, well, had nowhere to go, having no home and all that. I was on a budget. I had whatever money left from the free money, but needed a job and a place quick. The fastest thing I could do was go to Lincoln where my friend (whose family I spent Christmasses with) and replace him in a room he had rented with 5 other people.

It was a small, small room; as long as the bed, and barely half as wide. And it was on the 4th (3rd in UK) floor, directly opposite a weird tiny toilet and another 2 rooms.

The room to the left was a normal straight guy who seemed a bit dorky but the kinda dork who strives to be cool and goes to bars all the time in overly fragranced white shirts. The room opposite me belonged to this chubby drug addict who I'm guessing would snort cocaine on an hourly basis. I've no proof of that but I'm sure I'm right. She appeared to flirt and attempted to do more with me whenever she was high (or drunk, I couldn't tell), often trying to 'just sleep' in my room.

The floor below was a normal gay guy, tall and nice, and his besty, a crazy girl who I temporarily DID date in a weird, awkward kind of way. They would both listen to Black Eyed Peas' 'I gotta feelin'' every weekend to make sure that their night was going to be a good one. Presumably if that song never came out their nights would be miserable for eternity.

Nearby, there was some other gay guy who really liked to make it clear that he's gay.

He was alright in general but he ALSO had a crush on me. He would take me to clubs and boast that he's had sex with straight guys because he knows how to woo them in a clear attempt to tell me I don't need to be straight just because I am and he could show me the light. He wasn't handsome so he must have the power of God behind his words and dance moves to do what he claimed. Who knows.

One day he asked me if I wanted to watch a movie in his room. i was like sure whatever, walked in and he was splayed across his bed in his underwear waiting for me to join him. Urgh. I was quick to think and made it look like I was entering with intention to tell him I have stuff to do, and promptly left. And never went back.

Towards the end of my stay there, not long before I applied and got myself a job in South Korea, Gordon, the normal straight guy knocked on my door with a strangely solemn yet anxious face, saying I'll be going away for a while to... see my parents. Take care of my room. I was like 'don't even trip dawg i gotchu'.

About 2 days later, the nice gay guy knocked on my door with an even weirder face, a kind of shell-shocked state of panic, as he pointed towards my computer as if it was a ghost, and told me to google Gordon's full name.

The first thing that came up was a black and white picture of him saying 'PEDOPHILE', and I failed at hiding a huge smirk across my face. Blame the internet I dunno but I'm pretty immune to these emotional things, and where the gay guy was in shock in horror, I just found it absurdly amusing that this is even possible.

Indeed I read the article and he had been convicted of what is described as 'level 5'. This is the highest level of... sexual sodomy crime or something, which included the creating and distributing of child porn, as well as bestiality and other such gross things.

Madness! I had been living with a pedophile.

Well, a few weeks later he actually started contacting people who hadn't been sending him death threats, including me, since I had pretty much forgotten about him within a day or so (Bioshock was more important), and he asked me to write a statement on his behalf backing up that he's just an every day regular guy, a top lad.

I was like, sure whatever.

But then I decided to get on a plane and go to Korea instead.

Turns out I think he got an absurdly light sentence, something like 18 months probation. His story was something along the lines of his dad abused him in this way which made him look for answers in child porn? Whatever.

---

---

So there you have it, a small fragment of the terrible few months of my life I spent in that old, rickety house living an impoverished, useless life. More on that next time maybe?