Where is my body, where is my mind
Hello Lovelies :)
Bit of a rant today. The title pretty much sums up how I feel at the moment. I can't believe it's almost Easter again, last year's felt like it was just yesterday. Though I guess that's pretty much how everyone feels every year.
My life's changed a lot the past year, yet also, not so much. Still, I'm so ever grateful for all that God's put in my path. I feel like I'm finally getting this whole "Life-ing" thing.
But so, I wanted to talk about the fact that I've been more and more absent-minded lately. I noticed this after having a long conversation with someone and realising afterward that I hadn't a clue what we were just talking about.
It's like my mind went on a week-long trip at the beach while this person is just spatting nonsense to me, and I couldn't be bothered to listen.
I swear I wasn't even doing it on purpose. It feels like I have completely no sense of time. I do work from home, so I guess it could probably be because of my flexible schedule.
Last August I adopted a cat, and only when I took him home I realised he was sick :( I had to take him to the vet a couple of times for probably like 4 weeks to get him treated.
Only to realise after he got better that I completely forgot about my pet shrimps in my mini aquarium. They starved to death :'( or maybe it was the water I didn't change, who knows.
Maybe it has to do with me being an intp. I mean, it would make sense. Like how I honestly don't know how to properly function as a friend. (maybe) I am like, so bad at reaching out and keep in touch with people. Unless maybe I had to do that out of obligation.
I was maid of honour for my cousin who tied the knot in February. I spent last year and the beginning of this year helping out with wedding stuff and planning the bachelorette party. I hung out with her a lot, and we always had family gatherings I felt obligated to be at. And pretty much ever since the wedding, I just dropped off the face of the earth. (haha)
I am turning 25 this year :) in about a month's time. Holy shit I'm like half way to 50 already, stop! * holds hands up *
Many of my friends are married, getting married, or just doing really fantastic in their career/business, and I feel like I'm somehow behind.
I've recently stopped taking design work, and I've actually never been happier. This may sound a bit of spout, but honestly, I don't know how I got convinced into doing design in the first place.
I've hated disliked doing design since the first day of college, only having to make a career out of it for a little bit after graduating.
I finally got an upgrade for my drawing tablet last year(I've had my previous tablet for 10 years!) and started drawing again and it's like I've rediscovered my life purpose. I've finally gotten around to getting my artwork out there.
I'm not sure why I wrote this now. Bedtime thoughts I suppose. Maybe there are just a million things racing across my mind and spilling a little bit of it out like this will somehow silence the raging seas inside my head, maybe just for a little while.
xx,
I also like pen-ning down my thoughts at night when it's all quiet and my head gets to focus just a little more when there are no more distractions around. Like urself, an INTJ is also much similar and I can totally understand what ur feeling right now. I happen to be the same now so I relate to this post.
I hope the peer pressure of the world doesn't shift u to do the things u dont want, 25 is still a young age, then again, people in the East marries really early. It's about averagely 30-35 here in the west because people are more career minded. I guess at the end of the day, just focus on being you despite wat others have achieve or have done.
Yeah, like my mind is so loud in the quiet of the night. Makes sense to think that people who journal before bed each night find it so much easier to stay sane.
I think we've talked about this (see I can't even remember if we had xD), I do try but sometimes still struggle with not comparing myself to other people. Not going to lie, sometimes even to you!
It is times like this I question and doubt, but at the same time I remember how God brought me through even bigger things in life.
Hey, @melissamyra.
This read much like a diary entry. Intimate, reflective, self-aware, but not judgmental. I think it's a healthy thing to write down thoughts and walk through some things.
I perfectly understand the staying in touch thing. I have a hard enough time doing it with my parents, let alone cousins or someone else I haven't heard from in years. I feel like it should be a two way street, too. I shouldn't always be the one to strike up conversations, right?
You're basically half way to fifty, and I'm already nearly three years past. I'm afraid the forgetfulness doesn't suddenly reverse. :) However, now that you're getting out of graphic design and back into drawing, maybe other things can come together, too.
You never know what life might have in store. :)
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