Day 25 Focusing on tomorrow not yesterday

Nothing easy about what is happening, but after a great weekend with my beautifull children its time to focus on myself again and to overcome my problems. Slowly sorting out my to do list is something that I need to concentrate on as well.

Hard as it may be I have to stop looking back and blaming myself for what has happened and try and live day by day, enjoy the things that I have and learn to love myself again. 

What worries me the most at the moment in my fragile state of mind is that I might fall into a rebound relationship. For reasons that I am starting to understand I have mostly always found myself atracted to strong tempered women who have a hard time showing love and affection in the way that I need. Being single and alone for the first time in 14 years is very scary for me right now and my main focus has to be on regaining my self esteem. I have come to realize something that most people already know. 

YOU CANT LOVE SOMEBODY IF YOU DONT FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF.

My planned stay at the Capistrano clinic is over in a few days but I have managed to arrange for a meeting with the head Psychiatrist and owner tomorrow to discuss offering my SEO services to the clinic in exchange for an extension on my stay here. I really don't feel ready to leave here yet allthough I really do need to start working again very soon, at the very latest I should be back at work on the 1st of may.

I hope everybody had a great weekend, again Im sorry that I am mostly posting my daily diary here at the moment but very soon I will be back making some cool posts about diferent things.