WHO ARE YOUR REAL FRIENDS?

lymepoet (63)in #blog • 7 years ago (edited)

How can you tell a real friend from a social network friend or worse, a free loader?

It is well-known that after a certain age it gets harder to find someone to call a real friend. Someone to love and bond with, the same way as in your teen years.

That`s why we all love our childhood friends. We shared so many crazy moments with them, that we will remember for the rest of our lives. Even when we live continents apart, we still feel connected to them, as we did back then. We love them and they love us back. Time and distance are irrelevant in this equation.

I am not saying that the depth of a friendship depends on length of acquaintance. No! I simply state that in our quest of true friends, we get tangled in a maze of relationships that end in disappointment. In all these relationships we invest time and energy because we consider these people friends.

Unfortunately not all of them fit the friend criteria/description. Actually some of them might not be worthy of being called friends. Others may fall under the category of acquaintances or social network friends. Well, we all know that a best friend sticks to you like glue, for better and for worse. Once we established that, the next question is how can you tell who's a real friend and who's a free loader?

In your 20's, when you do most of your wild things, everyone seems to be your friend. At this age you don't care too much or doubt their connection or loyalty to you. As long as they are involved in the same things (stunts) you are doing, they`re fine, you call them friends.

Later when you reached your 30's, you become wiser. You ask more questions. In a nutshell, you got depth and you are looking for a true friendship. You question yourself, and then you grow more selective on your circle of friends. Either you become family oriented and hang out only with those whom you really relate to, or you stick with your childhood buddies, who know you better than they know the Bible.

In your 40's it is nearly impossible to find a soul friend. If accidentally or by any other miracle, you stumble upon someone who is selfless and always available for any request you would make, no matter how ridiculous or dangerous that might be, please keep that person close and treasure him more than your own siblings. They come one in a billion! They are almost a myth!

As for making the difference between the real friends and the superficial ones, you only have to distance yourself from the bubble you lived in, and look at your own life, as if through the eyes of a stranger. Then every little incident that bothered you, will reveal itself to you in a different light.

Therefore you will understand that a true friend comes over when you need him, rain or shine, even if you moved thousands of miles away. Those who really miss you, will come see you. They will even cycle or hitch hike their way to you, while an acquaintance will find a zillion of excuses: the distance, lack of time, or unavailability of a transportation vehicle.

Generally the social network friends tend to have a very busy agenda. Their calendar is filled with social events, business meetings, hobby trips, dinners with cool people from work or their FB circle, weekend in the cottage, etc. The only thing missing from their incredibly busy schedule is you. When the cold November hits, you happen to be the old warm jacket they rely on.

If it`s still unclear were you stand with your so-called friends, keep in mind that a real friend:

will never feel or act as if there was a competition between you two
will try to pay the lunch/dinner bill before you do
will not pity you for more than a day
will listen to you with undivided attention
will not share your stories with others
will bring you down to earth when you drift away
will alway abide the same rule as you: "unconditional love and trust"
will value honesty and truth over politeness
will remember your birthday and those of your family members
will not sugar coat the truth in order to please your ego
will not ask if you need any help, as a rhetorical question
will not ditch you on your packing and moving days
will not ask you how much you paid for your new house (He already helped with the down payment!)

That being said, treasure your friends and be thankful for having them around. What would life be without these amazing people, who guide our journey and help us seek the inner truth? Maybe a gloomy path?

Images source: Pixabay

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