Who can I pay to shout at me?

OK, here is the reason for this odd request....

Selfishness.
Sex.

When sex is the workout, you need to get working out....

Over this last 12 months since we have moved house, I have become incredibly unfit.
Our previous place we lived, had a 120 yrds long swimming pool, and gym.

It was a fantastic daily keep fit schedule.

I don't have an easily accessible pool here. (ie within 200 yards).

I am very weak willed when it comes to getting fit nowadays (after years of being pretty damn fit).

I have a lot of free time to get fit, so I can't use that as an excuse - I have lots of free time. I have no excuses.

I also have space to do my weight and cardio exercise. The ingenuity to do a good exercise regimen is there, and offer's no obstacles.

The will to get of my lazy arse is the problem.

Sitting on steemit is easier, and more enjoyable for me , than sit up's.

That being said ( I know me very well) once I get into a 'keep fit regimen' - normally 2/3 weeks of repetitious boredom - I love being, and getting , and feeling fit. Once I am in 'the groove', it is no hardship in the slightest.

I Love it.

and here is where YOU come in....

....I need someone to challenge, coerce, shout, insult, and anything else it takes - to get me into that position.

If I pay someone to do this - I would feel like I have to do it.

I hate paying for something, and then not getting my money's worth.

Also I hate lying - so I can't sit here typing to my 'shouter' about it and lying that I have done my exercise program, when I haven't.

It's just not me. I can't cheat either you or myself...

Therefor - if I pay someone to be my steemit motivator for a month - It will make me get off my arse, and after a month I will need no motivation, trust me.

Stopping me from doing more, maybe- but not less.(another steemgigs job maybe lol)

I will pay the person 1sbd a week, for 4 weeks - to get on my case - each day.
I don't care what you say (no hippy new age motivational shit).

I will present my workout results each day.

They may not make much sense to you, and I don't care if you understand them or not .( probably not, in fact) - it is about me presenting the results of my efforts, to someone.

Doing the hard work is preferable than lying about it, you see.

Yup, selfishness and sex....

So feel free to apply!

1/
Upvote this to be eligible, and must be include a comment on why I should choose you as my personal motivator. The one I 'click with', gets the job - sycophants need not apply.

I don't need an experienced 'keep fit' person - in the slightest - I know all the stuff I need/want to do. My knowledge is more than adequate in this area.

2/ Must be available to shout at me at the same time everyday. (11 pm utc. - ish. - within that time frame.), for four weeks.
I will present my nonsensical keep fit data within 1 hour of this' motivation course' chat, as proof of work.
I will take a rest day every three days, so no need to shout at me on those days.
workout/ workout/ workout/.... rest day, and repeat.

3/ Must be happy to annoy me if I don't 'come up with the goods', until I get so pissed off at you, I go and do my exercises.!

4/ I will pay 4 sbd at the end of the 4 week course. I will deduct money if you do not fuliff you side of the deal.. ie - are not available at 11utc. Upto an hour later is fine, but no more.

I'm looking for a committed shouter, and I'm taking this seriously...

I want to start on this program ASAP, so get writing....