Daily Patriot special! New Kavanaugh revelations !!!...comedyopenmic#31

Two new claims have come to light which - according to the Dianne Frankenstein Feintstein - ' ...Will nail down the principled little shit.

Far harder than bill's nailing with his interns,' She said. 'And he knew how to nail hard ',

NEW EVIDENCE - CLAIM 1

It has now come to light that Brett Kavanaugh sleeps with his daughter most nights.

Postmodernist psychology professor Poppy Cock, of the university of unicorns, stated to CNN earlier today:

It's unequivocal - and a fact - that Brett K Kavanaugh sleeps with his daughter.
And abuses his wife.
"Some people say walls make a difference, but that just isn't true.", Said prof. Poppy Cock, "One room in a house does not get separated by walls to make another room. That's just insane - and just plain wallist. It's plain wallist, even if the walls have paper on them, and are not plain at all. Walls are patriarchal construct, and have nothing to do with reality. How many walls are built by women? Exactly! "
She went on to say " I grew up in a house where my dad educated me to this fact. As a child, I found out along time ago that beds are not safe spaces, but play spaces."

Professor Poppy Cock, once touted as 'the new upcoming intelligence in the field of psychology', has recently published a highly regarded first book 'Men, and why they don't exist.'

"Spousal abuse is obviously very apparent in the Kavanaugh household. What's his poor wife gonna do while he's sleeping with his daughter? This is both extreme emotional and sexual neglect.
She went on to say, "It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he doesn't even give his wife 23 orgasm's before he selfishly take his own pleasures. What a bastard! "
She finished by saying, " This kind of man cannot be in a position of power. My body shudder's at the thought of him being my partner...or daddy. Kind of. "

NEW EVIDENCE - CLAIM 2

Perhaps the most shocking new evidence of this man not being fit as aSupreme court Justice, is the daily drug taking.

The Daily Patriot has took signed affidavits of over 35 people who will be willing to testify if necessary.

Miss Libby Tard - who has not been attacked by Kavanaugh - Told us she has known him for years, and has seen him imbibing chemicals on a daily basis.

"He's not shy about it, She said, " He takes them everywhere, and anywhere, all day long. I've noticed he prefers using a straw to get them inside him, and will indulge hourly. He goes crazy if he doesn't get any. Totally nuts. It doesn't seem to make him horny though," She added, "Which is surprising if you consider what a sexual predator he obviously is. His poor wife and daughter."

Another young female, miss Swallow Lott's, is also prepared to testify, and confirmed the same facts to us, as Miss Libby Tard declared- but she also added that he does get horny, when using his narcotic of choice.
His sexual predation, mixed with narcotics, might turn him into a monster, it seems...

Miss Swallow Lotts said that when she was working as a checkout girl in his local grocery store, she saw him happily taking his drugs in the aisles of the store, with NO regard as to who was watching!

" When he came to the checkout, I noticed him looking at me in, you know that way. He even offered me some of his drugs!
I said 'no thanks' of course, but I felt victimized.
He then asked if my eggs were fresh and would I mind if he checked them out !! He told me he was willing to pay good money for good eggs, but wanted to inspect them first!.
Filthy bastard!!
He still comes in regularly and offers me his narcotics all the time. It's disgusting. and he's always asking about how my eggs are doing...
He even does it in front of his wife and daughter, while they are out and about. He has no shame!"

Miss Swallow Lott's said she that while she 'd never seen actually seen him in her other workplace, ' The boobs and bums strip bar', that was probably due to the fact that they never allowed his kind of drug taking on the premises.
It was an alcohol only establishment.

She passed us some photographs to corroborate her story.

His arrogance and audaciousness is unbelievable, as he happily takes his narcotic of choice in the hearing to confirm his appointment!
We caught him on camera ourselves - and Miss Swallow Lott's confirmed it to us- that this was the very same drug she saw him using in the aisles of the grocery store where she works during the day.

I nominate Judge Kavanaugh !!!

(but I don't think he's on steemit, so I'll nominate another H2O user instead..)

@prle - that will screw him up - he keeps down voting me, the wanker.
@fulcrumleader....